7 Tips to Dress Well on a Small Budget

Hey friends!

It's been a while. How are you? That's good. I'm doing good, thanks!

I'm not a well-respected fashionista or anything, but I do like to dress well when I'm in the mood. (We have our moments, right?). And, sadly, I have many friends who don't dress well at all. Some weren't blessed as I was with a blunt and classy older sister to mentor them. Some just don't care. Some don't have the time. Some don't have the money.

I'm here to help those who, like me, want to dress well but are on a small budget. How do you do it?

1. Figure Out Your Go-to Source.
   I'm gonna pull a Donald Trump and say: CHINA! Honestly, I sometimes go as cheap as stuff from China like on AliExpress and eBay. I have a friend who only gets clothes from Thrift Stores and still rocks it. If you're comfortable with used clothing, there's always a local Buy & Sell page. I have friends who go to Walmart and Costco for clothes. My go-to cheap places are H&M and Old Navy. For Canadians there's also Ardene, Garage and Urban Planet; they're crap but pretty cheap. Those have been the cheapest sources in my experience -- China, thrift stores, buy and sell pages, grocery stores, and those cheap stores I mentioned.
2. First and foremost, figure out what is flattering for YOUR shape.
   What may look good on the girl on the cover of Vogue might not look flattering for you. And that's fine! Don't beat yourself up over it. Some people have approached me saying "Well it's easy for YOU to dress well, you have a perfect body and everything looks good on you!" False. I just figured out what suits me and from there I refuse to purchase or wear anything that doesn't flatter me.
3. Only buy it if you LOVE it, if it SUITS you, and if you WILL wear it.
   If you don't feel beautiful in it or can't name an event where you would wear it, don't buy it. Even if your friends insist that it's on sale and you just HAVE to take advantage of it, or your mom insists that it's trendy because her hair dresser's daughter has it. It's YOUR body and money and if YOU don't love it and if it doesn't flatter YOU and YOU won't wear it, don't waste your money. Even if it's a $3 Armani top. Think about it: If you buy 12 $3 tops you never wear and end up giving away as opposed to one $30 top that you do wear, you save money by just buying the $30 top.
4. Start at the cheapest stores first.
   Whenever I have something in mind, I start at cheaper stores like Old Navy or Ross. If that store doesn't have the item, I work my way up via price range. That way you KNOW you're getting that item in the lowest price. In a way, it also saves you time.
5. Make a Shopping List of what you NEED and Stick To That.
   You can even categorize it. You can categorize in terms of how soon you need it, what you need it for, etc. Go on Pinterest or look at fashion websites to figure out the season's trends and see what you like. Even TV shows can give you ideas. I always go on Pinterest or even Google and find out the trends for the upcoming season and I make a specific list from there -- like a pair of burgundy pants, or a striped shirt, or a black cardigan, etc. This might sound obvious, but how many times have I gone to the mall at Boxing Day with no purpose and bought something cuz it was cute but never wore it because I didn't really need it and it wasn't trendy?
6. Sometimes, you gotta invest.
   Some items (like shoes) are worth paying a bit more. For example: I got a pair of boots for $40. 4 months later, I had to throw them out. Then I got them in real leather and all these things that make them good quality for just under $200. 5 years later, here I am writing this post while my boots are still in good condition. Think about it: the cheap ones cost $120 a year while the good ones cost $40 a year. Figure out what items are worth investing. For me, it's the items I will wear the most often for as long as I can, like the boots. A shirt on the other hand, I might only wear for six months because then the weather will change and by the time the weather will come back to that temperature, it won't be trendy. So I usually get it for the cheapest price.
7. SALES!
   If there's a store you really love, it might be worth it to sign up for notifications on sales. My sister does that with Zara and saves a lot of money that way. Another thing is going to the sales rack. I love Tommy Hilfiger, but because it's over my budget, I go to the clearance rack and find a lot of things I love.

Anyways, I hope this helps. It's been a while since I've posted so I just published without proofreading. So don't mind any typos. I'm going to bed now. BYE!

Dear Bernie Supporters

With all my conservative political posts the past few months, y'all know I don't support socialism, Bernie Sanders, or his proposals. Having said that, I'd like to address my friends, particularly the Bernie supporters. We may disagree in our political views, but I respect you, which is something I'll probably never say for Hillary supporters. You see, the only reason why I don't support Bernie is simply because of his policies, but I know he's a good person and loves the country. Hillary, on the other hand, is a lying, power-hungry human being (on top of her flip-floppy plans).

And believe it or not, I know how you feel and I'm kinda bummed too. It's sad to see a candidate who is honest, well-meaning, with a clear record, and who truly represents the political party and what the voters want, lose to a corrupt self-serving dishonest politician. And then have insensitive, ignorant outsiders come and tell you your nominee is the nominee because people in your party were stupid enough to vote for them, even though you and your friends don't support this person. I have no idea how Hillary, who is less likely to beat Trump, got the nomination. Maybe she did win fair and square and this is just democracy. Or there is something fishy in the system. I have no idea.

I feel the same way with the Republican party. How did honest, experienced, well-meaning people like Marco Rubio or John Kasich lose to a loud-mouthed, incompetent, hated person like Donald Trump, who by the way has little to no chance of beating Hillary? People said it's because Republicans have become that stupid. And I believed it until I saw Bernie lose to Hillary. Unless Republicans are stupid enough to vote for Trump and Democrats are stupid enough to vote for Hillary, it doesn't make sense. That was when I asked myself: When did the mainstream media's voice speak louder than that of the people? When did it overrule democracy? Do most people just vote for whoever the mainstream media endorses rather than do their own research? Are they ignorant or do they not care? Or was there something in the system that wasn't right? It doesn't add up.

So, my attempt in this post is to create a sense of unity among people who want strong, honest, patriotic leaders. Regardless of whether you're a Republican or a Democrat. I know this coming fall will be mostly a vote for "the lesser of two evils" and we may disagree on who is less evil than the other. I personally believe that Hillary Clinton is worse than Donald Trump. Not because she's a Democrat, but because of the kind of person she is and what she stands for. Trump is pretty blunt about how he intends to ruin America. Hillary on the other hand does her specialty -- she lies. Who knows what damage she'll be doing? I personally don't trust her. She was negligent in Benghazi and lied about it. She put national security at risk with the email scandal and lied about it. Everything she says is a lie. How can I trust someone like that? You may disagree and say Donald Trump is worse. And that's your right and I will not be a condescending jerk about it. But I will not stop voicing my opinion about how I feel about Hillary Clinton.

At the same time, please know that I have been trying to be more respectful for those who think differently and to see things from their perspective and will keep doing that. Though I won't tailor my views to please anyone, I also won't get into heated debates over this. And so far this helped me become more pragmatic with my views and to grow to respect Bernie and his supporters. And I still respect all of you, even if you vote for Hillary Clinton. No matter who you vote for, I will still consider you my friends. I've learned that it's not worth it to lose friendships over sports teams or political parties.

Many people have tried to shut down my desire to voice my opinion of this election simply because I'm not an American citizen. My question is, my opinion should be the least threatening to anyone, BECAUSE I can't vote -- so why try to stop me from speaking up? My intentions when expressing my political views is to give people a different perspective and, for lack of a better term, let it off my chest. I know I can't vote, but that shouldn't keep me from having an opinion. Especially regarding the country whose relationship with my country is pretty important to mine. And I visit the USA quite often, so it feels like my uncle. I always say Brazil is my mother, Canada is my father, Portugal, Italy, and Japan are my grandparents, and the USA is my uncle -- not my immediate family, but still family.

Salt is to Pepper as Priesthood is to...

During my internship in Ontario, one of the coordinators asked me if women could be priests or leaders in my religion. I said only men are called as Bishops and Stake Presidents, but only women are... and before I could finish my sentence, he interrupted me and said my religion was sexist and misogynistic.

The way I see gender roles in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints isn't different from popular belief in Mormon culture -- men and women are different. One is not better than the other, but rather complementary. 

Let me start off by defining what the word "complementary" means... I googled it and this is the result you get:

"Combining in such a way as to enhance or emphasize the qualities of each other or another.

synonyms:	harmonious, compatible, corresponding, matching, twin; More
antonyms:	incompatible."

I really like this definition. Together, men and women enhance or emphasize the qualities of each other. Ever observed a healthy couple where the wife makes the husband want to be better (and vice-versa)? Or when you didn't realize a person had particular qualities or attributes until they were in a relationship with the other?

That is the church's stance. To prove my point, here is what an Apostle (Elder Cook) had to say about it: "Wives are equal to their husbands. Marriage requires a full partnership where wives and husbands work side by side to meet the needs of the family." It gets better: "Much of what we accomplish in the Church is due to the selfless service of women. Whether in the Church or in the home, it is a beautiful thing to see the priesthood and the Relief Society work in perfect harmony. Such a relationship is like a well-tuned orchestra, and the resulting symphony inspires all of us."

Contrary to progressives' beliefs or claims about Mormons, women are NOT seen as or treated inferior to men. In fact, I sometimes think women are put in a higher pedestal than men. How many times on my mission did the Sister Missionaries get the better apartments? How many times did my mission president enforce chivalry on the Elders but never told us how to act or behave towards them? How many times did my old Bishop tell the young men to respect the young women? How many times do you hear general conference talks about men treating their wives with respect as opposed to the other way around?

That's not to say men are suppressed in the church. My point is, as you experience full membership in the church, you realize that women are praised, honoured, and valued much more than you think. It is easy to think men are viewed as superior beings in the church if you experience the gospel in a superficial level. Yes, if you go to a sacrament meeting, you will see mostly men in the stand. But as you fully engage in the gospel, particularly when you make sacred covenants in the temple, you'll see that women have been just as vital to the administration of the church all along. We COMPLEMENT one another. We NEED each other. A wife needs her husband just as much as the husband needs his wife.

Let's talk Priesthood. The Lord does not call the qualified; He qualifies the called. Men have the Priesthood so they can become qualified for their exhalation. Literally. The saving ordinances for all those who are seeking their eternal salvation are: Baptism, Receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost, Initiatory, Endowment, and Sealing. However, for men, there's a twist. After receiving the Holy Ghost, men are REQUIRED (yes, required) to receive what's called the Melchizedek Priesthood. And once they've been ordained as such, they are under sacred obligations to live obedient and virtuous lives. Only by the receiving of this power to act in God's name, can they qualify for the Celestial kingdom.

Women, on the other hand, get to skip that requirement. For some reason, God looked at us and said, "You don't need it. You may waive this requirement." Why, I don't know. But what I can say is that it does say something about our roles. Something great. There is something divine within us that make us just as qualified as a worthy Priesthood holder without having been ordained as one. What it all boils down to is, we don't need it. I was publicly rebuked for saying that once, but I stand by it nonetheless.

So why? Why don't we need the Priesthood? What is it about us that allowed us to skip that saving ordinance? Our initial instinct is to say "we are capable of bearing children". I couldn't agree more. I have a testimony that through motherhood, we are under a sacred calling from God. In the words of one of my favourite YW hymns, Come Take a Little Hand, "There’s a very special bond between a mother and her God. She serves him in a very sacred way. He sends a child to earth and trusts him to her care, To learn of life, to work and pray."

But what about the women who can't have children? Or who never meet their soulmate? Or women who do have children, but send their kids to daycare as they fulfill their careers? Are they denying their divine role as women? Are they breaking an unwritten rule? No! No no no no NO!

One can say, "Well, if they desire it, then they'll be blessed." I agree. But I think there's so much more to that. I think there's a lot more that women can do to make this world a better place than just wanting a kid. We should never restrict a woman's divine purpose to solely being a stay-at-home mother. I know women who never had children but are closer to Christ than many stay-at-home moms.

I've come up with a list of roles for women to complement the priesthood.

1. Develop charity: The Relief Society motto is "Charity Never Faileth" -- everything we do in RS (i.e. Visit-teaching, feeding missionaries, etc.) is centered around charity. One of my favourite scenes in the Joseph Smith movie is when Emma Smith sees a woman in need and says, "let me help you, sister." a simple line that sums up the obligations that we as women have. I read an Ensign article about the Relief Society's charity towards one another. "There are many other wonderful sisters who are living Paul’s definition of charity. They are meeting the challenges of life and facing them with courage, faith, and, oftentimes, joy. With charity, we will not fail." I love that statement. It is through charity that the Relief Society, the world's largest women's organization, has purpose and is standing strong. Elder Marvin J. Ashton said, “The best and most clear indicator that we are progressing spiritually and coming unto Christ is the way we treat other people.” 
   
   
2. Pursue a career: While I do have a testimony of marriage and motherhood, I don't believe a career woman will be denied the blessings of exaltation. If a woman desires to pursue a career even though she is married with children and still somehow manages to be faithful and loving to her family, I am more prone to applauding her than judging! Some of the most amazing women I know were career women. There is nothing different or unique about pursuing a career; it just means that particular woman chose to handle more on her plate. And if she's not married then heck! Why not? In fact, I think by pursuing a career, the woman is serving God by contributing the talents He has blessed her with to the world around her. Teachers, cops, employers, lawyers, psychologists, doctors, politicians, nannies... every job gives you an opportunity to serve society. You also meet people who you can be an influence and example to. You show appreciation to God by developing and multiplying the talents you were blessed with.
   
   
   
3. Bear witness: Men and women are both entitled to the gift of the Holy Ghost, which enables us to receive revelation. Women are also allowed to (even expected to) pray and read their scriptures whether it be privately or publicly, just as men are. Men are expected to serve honourable full-time missions and proselyte; women are simply welcomed to do so if they desire. Women can go on the stand and give talks or bear testimonies just as much as men can. A woman is never deprived of expounding her knowledge of the gospel or let alone sharing it. In fact, we are expected to bear our testimonies and to be good examples.
   
   
   
4. Hold leadership positions: Only women can be called as leaders in the Primary organization (an organization strictly for 3-11 year-old boys and girls), Young Women (an organization that helps girls between ages 12-17 develop their testimonies, comprehend their divine identity, and other virtues), and Relief Society (the world's largest women's organization). God not only allows, but trusts exclusively women to these sacred leadership roles. Like in a choir, the Bishopric may be the soprano singers, but without the women's harmonious services as the alto, tenor, or bass singers, the song performance is incomplete and lacking "flavour".

I'm just scratching the surface. There is so much more to that. Women can do so much, which is why our expectations aren't as concrete as those of men's. Just as our Heavenly Mother is kept sacred and Her existence is not as objectively clear as is our Heavenly Father's, so our roles are still not as objectively clear as men's. We don't know little about our Heavenly Mother because She is inferior, but because She is extremely sacred. Analogously, anyone can enter a church building and see a majority of men sitting on the stand during sacrament meeting, but it isn't until they have been a member for at least a year and are worthy to enter the temple that they see women officiating in sacred ordinances equally to men. So our roles are not inferior, they are just sacred. 

Why I Support Plastic Surgery

One fine and annoying evening, I attended a networking event when I was in college. For those of you who don't know me, I loathe small talking beyond all means. In most cases, networking is just small talk as a means to schmooze up to potential employers. Thus you can imagine how much I enjoyed myself that night. But, I dressed up, smiled, and was friendly. In the midst of this torture, I was sitting with a potential employer during dinner. We talked and carried a good conversation. She asked where I was from, and I told her Brazil. Her reaction was, "Oh, don't all women there get plastic surgeries all the time?" Clearly, she has never been to California. I responded, saying, "Last I checked my nose and my boobs are still real. But good question!"

She was one of many people who have asked me this rude, stupid question. Why it's stupid? Because it's not accurate. What I can say, however, is that Brazil has one of the best plastic surgeons in the world. True story: Dr. Ray from 90210 is Brazilian and Brad Pitt flew all the way to Brazil to get some work done on his ribs.

What I can also say is yes; latin-American women do take care of themselves more than North American women and that plastic surgery is more socially acceptable in Brazil. But it doesn't mean all the women get it or need it or rely on it; it just means that when someone chooses to get surgery, Brazilians mind their own business and don't point their fingers at them.

We need to understand what it means to be superficial; a superficial person focuses on things that aren't really important. Being educated is more important than being pretty. Having good character is more important than being wealthy. So yes, focusing on being pretty and having money more than on being educated or of good character, makes a person superficial.

However, just because someone aims to make more money or takes care of themselves, doesn't mean they're superficial. Such assumption is judgmental, because you don't know if they're trying to improve themselves in other aspects too. We tend to generalize and assume ALL people who have had surgeries are superficial, which is not only inaccurate, but unkind. Being pretty or wealthy isn't a bad thing; so long as your priorities are in the right place.

We also tend to assume that people only get surgeries because either they get bullied or their abusive partner told them to. That's also a very hasty generalization. Some people just like to be attractive, and it's not a bad thing!

I know people who have had cosmetic surgeries, and they're not less of people because of them. I had a friend who was flat-chested even after puberty. She decided to get her boobs done; not because anyone told her to, but because it was her body and she wanted to feel better in it. Some of you may be reading this and thinking "She should've just learned to embrace her flat chest and develop confidence instead!" Ok, sure. Now let's take me: I personally have never had plastic surgery. I did, however, wear braces when I was a teenager because my front teeth were crooked and I was too self-conscious to smile for pictures. Once I had them removed after nine months, I felt prettier, more confident, and comfortable in my skin.

I also used to have flabby arms; I didn't like them, so I went to the gym 5 days a week and did weights on my biceps and triceps, and now I can proudly flex them. I also thought having black hair was boring, so I got an ombre. I thought it looked pretty and was happy with the physical change I made in myself. I also like to update my wardrobe according to the trend; so when coloured pants became cool, I bought three pairs -- sure, I didn't change my body, but I did spend money to look and feel prettier and more stylish. Not for others, but for myself.

So let's compare old me to new me: I wear retainers when I sleep, I attend the gym 5x/week, I get my hair done, and I shop for clothes when I need an update. If you think about it, those are pretty common things regular Joe's do and are open about and never get criticized for. Sure, I didn't get surgery; but I still changed my body to make myself more attractive. So did I have plastic surgery? Nope. But did I change a lot? Yes.

So what's the difference between the changes I made in myself and the changes my friend made in herself? Well, I can think of three. She only had one change: bigger boobs. Me? The list I mentioned earlier. Another difference is she had a long medical procedure performed by someone who was certified and experienced, while I had many short procedures made by either professionals or myself. The final difference is people point their fingers at her while I'm just a regular girl who has never been called out for the "acceptable" changes I made.

Why are my many changes more socially acceptable than the one change my friend made? Yes, plastic surgeries cost more and have risks. But what if you worked hard and saved up for it? Or you simply have the financial means for it? What if the doctor you had the surgery with was competent and experienced? If we lived in a world where plastic surgeries were free, quick, and guaranteed to have no risks associated with them, would we judge people less?

Another example is Angelina Jolie; she risked having breast cancer, so she had them removed and then got fake boobs. Would you tell her to be boobless? Not unless you're a judgmental jerk. Telling someone what to do with their own body is just rude. If you don't care about how pretty you look, kudos to you! But it doesn't mean you're smarter or more down to earth; it just means you don't care how pretty you look. It's not a bad thing, it's just a fact.

Yes, there are exceptions; there are people like Human Ken Doll, for example, who turned these life-risking surgeries into hobbies. Or women who get so much botox you can't even recognize them anymore. So yes, if you're talking about people who have way too many surgeries to the point where it's unhealthy and they become unrecognizable, then yes; they should tone it down for their own sake. But ultimately, it still doesn't mean they're bad people. I met a person who had over thirty cosmetic surgeries, but they were one of the nicest, most down-to-earth people I've met.

I think our society and our culture, overemphasizes forming your own opinions and being able to debate and defend them to such an extent that judging and criticizing is okay now. It's okay to tell a complete stranger they're stupid or ugly when they disagree with you. If you say a person you've never even met or talked to is superficial, plastic, or fake simply because they had cosmetic surgeries, you get "likes" for it.

This leads us to be critical of others without taking the time to really get to know them. Whatever happened to talking to that person and carrying a meaningful conversation with them? Whatever happened to being kind to someone even when you don't agree with their opinions or choices? Have you ever considered that the way we make these people feel when we criticize them is so much worse than how they could've felt about themselves before they even had the surgery? No; we're too busy trying to brag about how knowledgeable and opinionated we are to give a crap about how we make them feel about themselves.

My Entrance to the Temple :)

It's been over two months since I received my endowment and the only sign (on social media) that it actually happened was my mother's Instagram post. But, it did happen and I'm excited to tell you all about it... well, at least as much as I can.

Before I received my endowment some people warned me that they freaked out when they received theirs, and that it was weird and cultish. The ones who didn't freak out, on the other hand, thought I would be fine. So I played it safe and prepared myself as much as I could, to make sure I wouldn't freak out. I wanted it to be a spiritual experience.

I fasted 24 hours before leaving to go to the temple. The night before the endowment, I was nervous and upset about something. Because I was upset, I wasn't sure if my heart was in the right place for me to go to the temple. So to invite the spirit, I read some of my notes from when I was preparing and studying for the temple, and I felt this tremendous amount of peace and a burning in my bosom. I knew with all my heart I needed to go to the temple the following day, and that this was just opposition the adversary was throwing at me to try to keep me from going. So I prayed and asked that I could resolve those things that had made me upset so that I could have a positive experience in the temple. And the next day they did resolve!

Before we left for the temple, my dad gave me a priesthood blessing, on my request. I don't remember much of what he said, but I balled my eyes out the entire time and the spirit was incredibly strong, even though he didn't say much about my temple experience. I have it recorded, so I'll listen to it again some time.

When I got to the temple, the temple matron gave me instructions. She asked if I was a member my whole life, to which I said yes. Then she said "oh, so you must've gone through Young Women's and repeated every Sunday that you'd be preparing for this day!" as soon as she said that I began to cry because I realized how special this day was because I had been preparing my whole life for it. I realized my preparation didn't start after I talked to my bishop about it, or during temple prep courses. Every little experience in life -- going through difficult trials these past couple years, moving to Canada by myself and living with non-members, receiving my YW medallion, trying to make good choices as a teenager, reciting the YW theme every Sunday for 6 years, reading the Book of Mormon by myself for the first time, doing baptisms for the dead, being baptized, all the primary songs and lessons, family scripture study and prayer -- ALL these things played a role in my preparation. I needed that many experiences to be prepared, because of how special this day was.

To quote it, the young women theme says "We are daughters of our Heavenly Father who loves us, and we love Him. We will stand as witnesses of God at all times, and in all things, and in all places, as we strive to live the Young Women values, which are: Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrity, and Virtue. We believe that as we come to accept and act upon these values, we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation."

I cried the entire time during the initiatory. I don't remember anything that was said or even happened, but I just knew I was receiving a sacred ordinance from God. I can't really explain why I cried, or the thoughts I had. I just really felt the spirit! Even remembering it now makes me tear up a little. I hope and pray that I'll always remember it.

I also felt the spirit during the endowment; I didn't cry the whole time like I did during the initiatory, but there were definitely some parts where I felt the spirit and felt glad I packed some Kleenexes in my pocket. If I were to tell an unendowed person what happens in an endowment session, I would say you make covenants, receive instructions, then be "tested" on what you just learned. There wasn't any doctrine that we don't learn in church..  So to me, it doesn't make sense when people say "it was different and threw me off". 

During the session, I felt as though I had been doing/seeing that my whole life; it all felt right and familiar. And when the things that were new to me were presented, I felt as though I was in a dance lesson learning the choreography. I definitely didn't understand the symbolism, but I felt calm and extremely peaceful the entire time. There was nothing too unfamiliar to me to throw me off. In fact, the entire time I kept asking myself "where's the weird part that freaks people out?" So much so that when I realized the session was about to end,  I thought to myself, "that's it? that's what shook some people's testimonies? pffffffft" I feel the same way about my garments; I'm not sure if it just hasn't sunk in yet or what, but wearing them isn't unfamiliar to me and I feel like I've been wearing them my whole life. Sure, I'm just starting to figure out what materials and sizes work for me, but I don't feel like I'm limited by them.

If I could sum up the endowment into just a few simple words, I would say beautiful and sacred. Though I didn't understand anything, I felt extremely calm and peaceful throughout the whole session and it felt right. Not a burning in my bosom or feeling mind-blown; but just a calm reassurance. It's interesting because it wasn't until after a few hours when I pondered on the experience that I felt mind blown and a burning in my bosom -- particularly when I remembered making the covenants. But for some reason the Spirit spoke differently to me at the time. It was beautiful! And the more I looked back at the experience, the more I took away from it... kind of like re-reading your Patriarchal blessing and getting a different meaning out of it every time you do.

When the session was over, my mom asked if I enjoyed it, to which I said, "I guess?" because I was so calm, it hadn't really sunk in. Then she asked, "are you glad you went?" to which I promptly said yes. Sometimes, we don't really understand what we're doing or learning, but deep down we know it's right and that if we continue to walk in obedience, eventually we will. I was at a fireside with a member of the Calgary Temple presidency who said not everyone understands the entire mechanical system of a car, but we know we need one, so we buy it... it's the same thing with covenants; we might not understand them, but we know we must make and keep them.

I felt incredibly happy that I went and I couldn't wait to go back soon because I couldn't remember much that happened or really understood anything. It was weird because as soon as I left the temple, I couldn't remember anything, but later that day as I reflected on it I started to remember and feel the spirit. And as I went again a couple more times, I not only began to understand more, but I craved to go back again the soonest I could. Most people say they understood it the second time way more than the first, but it wasn't the case for me. I was still confused the second time; I just understood it a little more each time I went. Once I got the hang of it and knew what I was doing, my mind and my spirit had more room to reflect on the ordinances and come to understand them.

Many people react differently to their first endowment session. Let's address the people freaking out thing: it's a bunch of baloney. If you take it seriously and prepare for it, you won't freak out. There is nothing weird, funny, or cultish about it. The only reasons someone should feel that way about the temple is if they didn't take the time to prepare for it and/or they lack spiritual maturity. The parts where those people are thrown off by, ended up being the ones I felt the spirit the strongest. I actually find it extremely disrespectful and irreverent for someone to talk about the temple ordinances, something so sacred, that way. I'm sorry to say this, but it reminds me of that scripture in 1 Nephi 16:2: "the wicked taketh the truth to be hard". Wicked would be a harsh way to describe those people, so let's replace it with spiritually immature or unprepared... So, the spiritually immature or unprepared taketh the truth to be hard. Makes sense, right? Here's a more politically correct scripture in D&C 38:30: "(...)if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear". And the good news is, your level of preparation is up to you! Your reaction to the temple is your call and depends on how seriously you take the gospel.

I am grateful to say mine was extremely positive, peaceful, and spiritually uplifting. I mentioned earlier that I wasn't mind-blown or felt a burning in my bosom. In fact, I was a little flustered because I didn't know exactly what I was doing. It even made me wonder if I was prepared to be there because of that. But looking back, here's a sign that I was indeed supposed to be there: I left the temple wanting to become better -- not out of fear because of the serious covenants I had made, but because I felt an indescribably deep, sincere desire to stay close to God. Elder Bednar explained in his last General Conference talk that fear of God isn't to be scared of Him, but to have a deep respect and reverence for Him... and that's exactly how I felt and still feel.

My advice to the unendowed people is to go to the temple! But don't just go; prepare yourself to make those covenants. Make yourself 100% worthy, study as much as you can, develop a strong relationship with God and learn to rely on the Spirit. The more you take your preparation seriously, the better your experience in the temple will be. Do whatever you can to enter the temple doors. Don't let Satan or anyone feed you those lies that you're not good enough to get to that point. Christ took your sins upon himself for that reason! The feeling of walking into the Celestial Room and hugging your family and friends there will confirm to you that what I'm saying is true. Later on I'll make a post about some tips and advice on making the most out of your temple experience!

Love,
Kim

My Path to the Temple - Part 2

When I first moved to Toronto I was a little scared; I didn't know anyone and had to figure everything out on my own. So I decided to go to the temple as soon as I had a day off. I kid you not, as soon as I got off the bus and saw the temple, I began balling my eyes out. I knew that even though I was in a new province, I was back home. And I could feel the spirit testifying that to me, which is Lesson #3 Learned: No matter where I go, if I'm keeping my covenants, the temple is always my home because it is the House of the Lord. It was such an amazing feeling! The Toronto temple might actually be my favourite Canadian temple.

So, I took temple prep in Toronto. Then my bishop there interviewed me. I told him as much as I was worthy and took all the classes, that I didn't want to receive my recommend just yet, especially because I wouldn't be getting endowed for a while with my dad living at the other end of the world and all. I was also working a lot with my internship; my mind was so career-driven, I hadn't really given it room for the gospel. I just didn't feel like my heart was in the right place at the time.

He asked, "Well, how do you feel about your membership in the church?"

I had never given thought to it, so after thinking about it, I said, "It means the world to me. It defines me. It's my most sacred gift from God." and I realized how much I loved this gospel and how grateful I felt to have it in my life.

Then he asked, "Do you have faith in, and a testimony of God the Eternal Father, His son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost?"

Without thinking twice I said absolutely.

He asked me some more questions, to which I answered yes to without thinking twice. I realized I have a strong testimony and how much I love God and this gospel and that I was indeed ready to make covenants with Him.

Then before I know it, he asks if I'm keeping the law of chastity. THAT was when I finally realized he tricked me into getting interviewed and recommended! "Oh well, might as well keep answering the questions" I thought to myself. I was found worthy to obtain a recommend, which I already knew I was. But more than that, I found myself ready and willing to make those covenants -- which I didn't believe I was until I answered those questions truthfully from the heart. He gave me a run-down of the endowment, and I felt an incredible spirit during that interview; it was amazing. Towards the end of it I had tears in my eyes and said, "That sounds beautiful. Can you please sign my recommend now? I want to do this ASAP!"

Then I met with the stake president and, though I didn't know anything about him (not even his name) until I actually met him, the spirit was SO strong during that interview! It was kind of a sacred experience, so I'd rather not share it here. But let's just say it was another confirmation from God that He accepted me enough to welcome me into His holy house and that I was ready to make serious covenants.

Lesson #4 Learned: We underestimate ourselves so much sometimes. The Lord sees in us what we cannot see for ourselves, which is our divine potential and how much closer we've come to it.

Lesson #5 Learned: The 3 most important things a member can do for him/herself are to develop 1) a strong testimony, 2) love and gratitude for the gospel, and 3) a strong relationship with God. Everything else will fall into place. 

In December, I moved back to Kelowna. But it was decided my dad wouldn't be back until May, but I was so excited I booked the Calgary temple.

On late February we had a temple trip to the Vancouver temple. I figured since I didn't know when I'd be back in the temple before my endowment with a crazy semester ahead of me, that I'd get my temple packet then just to be safe. I was overwhelmed at the many items I had to choose from (especially because I wasn't able to actually try them on or even see them), but luckily my mom had given me some tips on what to buy.

After that stress, I left the distribution centre with the biggest smile on my face. I was SO happy and so thrilled! I felt the spirit testify to me that I was exactly where God wanted me to be in my life: preparing to make sacred covenants with Him. That was when it finally started to sink in, and I wasn't nervous or scared at all like I was in the summer... I was just excited to come back in a couple months and progress by making those covenants.

As we were leaving the temple, we accidentally saw someone dressed in their full ceremonial clothing. I was shocked (and somewhat guilty) that it happened, so I looked away. But I didn't freak out like most people say they did when they saw it for the first time. It was different from what I imagined it to look like when I read the book of Exodus, but it didn't weird me out. I mean, the church did publish that video, which might have helped me kind of know what to expectbecause I took it so seriously when I committed myself to prepare for those covenants, that my mind and my heart were open to anything.

On the drive back to Kelowna, my friend and I were talking about that incident and he admitted to me he freaked out in his first session because he wasn't fully prepared. We talked about some things people need to keep in mind and as we did, I felt the spirit testify to me that I was prepared and that I would enjoy the experience.

Lesson #6 Learned: Sometimes, the Spirit will testify to us of the trust and confidence God has in us, because in many cases it's what it takes for us to take that leap of faith.

From that point, I not only knew it was God's will that I went to the temple, but it also became my will.

To be continued...

My Path to the Temple - Part 1

I think this is pretty much common knowledge, but: I'M GETTING ENDOWED!
Answer to the FAQ's:

1. Are you engaged? No.
2. Are you going on a mission? No.
3. Are you 25 or over? No.

So, if I am in none of those situations, why and how did I get myself in this situation where for the rest of my life and eternity, I will be under sacred covenants with God? In this blog post, I hope to answer that question, not just because I love telling stories, but also because hopefully this will help others who are either preparing for or considering going through the temple.

My dad loves the temple and last summer (2014 in Calgary) he said I should prepare to receive my endowment. I thought he was just looking for someone to make him company in the temple. I mean, I did remember when I was considering serving a mission and my brother-in-law taught me temple prep that I really felt the spirit and the desire to go, and also when I attended the Calgary temple open house and how much I wanted to receive my endowment there, but I didn't feel qualified. I was worthy and all, but I just wasn't ready. I had so many friends "scare me off" from going there saying how much they freaked out and that it was cultish and weird (some even said funny), or that their testimonies were shaken. 

I didn't want that to happen to me; I wanted my first endowment session to be special, and to feel the spirit and close to God. Endowed people patronize me a lot saying you'll never get it the first time, which I know. But I want to at least feel the spirit instead of fear... that's NOT too much to ask for. So as much as I was worthy to attend the temple, I didn't think I was ready and didn't want to risk freaking out. As much as I've never really broken any of my baptismal covenants, I was scared to make bigger covenants. Because, you're judged based on your knowledge -- so the less knowledge and covenants under my belt, the less I'd be judged against. I did want to do it someday eventually, just not for a while. So I studied and prepared for it, but with no set date in mind.

Lesson #1 learned: When confronted by a fear, don't hide from it or avoid it -- face it. Prepare yourself to fight it off. See it as a challenge for spiritual development!

Then I was renewing my temple recommend with my branch President. Have you ever had that moment where the spirit hacks your mouth? Well, that happened to me. I randomly blurted out, "President, do you think I'm ready to receive my endowment?" In my head I was like "the heck did I just ask?"

With no hesitation or thinking for a split-second he answered, "Absolutely."

My confusion was passed from my question to his answer, "You don't think I'll freak out or the covenants are too big for 22-year old single me, not going on a mission?"

He said he watched me grow spiritually and believed I was ready and that I'd enjoy the session, and explained some things about the temple.

We agreed that I'd take temple prep classes first. Since I was moving to Toronto, I figured I'd take it there, get my recommend here, then get endowed whenever my dad was able to come back to Canada from Saudi Arabia, which I was hoping wouldn't be til February.

I got home and told my dad everything, but I was still not feeling ready for those covenants. He told me I can't progress without covenants, and that I should see those sacred promises as a blessing and opportunity to grow closer to my potential. 

Then the next Sunday I was like "Meh, I don't wanna wear garments or have the extra responsibility if I can just wait until I get sealed (which let's face it, won't be for a WHILE)!"

That evening the YSA had a fireside with the Calgary Temple President. Guess what the topic was? Hesitation to make covenants! It answered every single one of my questions and doubts, and the spirit was incredibly strong. I knew it was because the Lord really needed me in the temple. My hesitation instantly turned into an urge.

After the fireside I had to drive someone home, and she lived right by the temple. After I dropped her off, I drove by the temple. I was breathtaken by its beauty and its glory. I pulled over just to stare at it for a good five minutes and the spirit was incredibly strong and I began tearing up and I just KNEW I had to be in the temple as soon as I could. More importantly, I wanted to go so badly.

Upon leaving for Toronto, my dad gave me a blessing where he confirmed that it was the Lord's desire and plan that I prepared to receive my endowment.

Lesson #2 Learned: Note how I made the decision before having the confirmation? Had I not opened my heart to the spirit, I would've never had the prompting and consequently made that decision. God doesn't move parked cars! I had to study and prepare first, then ask my Branch President that question, I had to attend the fireside, I had to stop by the temple. THEN God acted.

To be continued....