Why I Support Plastic Surgery

One fine and annoying evening, I attended a networking event when I was in college. For those of you who don't know me, I loathe small talking beyond all means. In most cases, networking is just small talk as a means to schmooze up to potential employers. Thus you can imagine how much I enjoyed myself that night. But, I dressed up, smiled, and was friendly. In the midst of this torture, I was sitting with a potential employer during dinner. We talked and carried a good conversation. She asked where I was from, and I told her Brazil. Her reaction was, "Oh, don't all women there get plastic surgeries all the time?" Clearly, she has never been to California. I responded, saying, "Last I checked my nose and my boobs are still real. But good question!"

She was one of many people who have asked me this rude, stupid question. Why it's stupid? Because it's not accurate. What I can say, however, is that Brazil has one of the best plastic surgeons in the world. True story: Dr. Ray from 90210 is Brazilian and Brad Pitt flew all the way to Brazil to get some work done on his ribs.

What I can also say is yes; latin-American women do take care of themselves more than North American women and that plastic surgery is more socially acceptable in Brazil. But it doesn't mean all the women get it or need it or rely on it; it just means that when someone chooses to get surgery, Brazilians mind their own business and don't point their fingers at them.

We need to understand what it means to be superficial; a superficial person focuses on things that aren't really important. Being educated is more important than being pretty. Having good character is more important than being wealthy. So yes, focusing on being pretty and having money more than on being educated or of good character, makes a person superficial.

However, just because someone aims to make more money or takes care of themselves, doesn't mean they're superficial. Such assumption is judgmental, because you don't know if they're trying to improve themselves in other aspects too. We tend to generalize and assume ALL people who have had surgeries are superficial, which is not only inaccurate, but unkind. Being pretty or wealthy isn't a bad thing; so long as your priorities are in the right place.

We also tend to assume that people only get surgeries because either they get bullied or their abusive partner told them to. That's also a very hasty generalization. Some people just like to be attractive, and it's not a bad thing!

I know people who have had cosmetic surgeries, and they're not less of people because of them. I had a friend who was flat-chested even after puberty. She decided to get her boobs done; not because anyone told her to, but because it was her body and she wanted to feel better in it. Some of you may be reading this and thinking "She should've just learned to embrace her flat chest and develop confidence instead!" Ok, sure. Now let's take me: I personally have never had plastic surgery. I did, however, wear braces when I was a teenager because my front teeth were crooked and I was too self-conscious to smile for pictures. Once I had them removed after nine months, I felt prettier, more confident, and comfortable in my skin.

I also used to have flabby arms; I didn't like them, so I went to the gym 5 days a week and did weights on my biceps and triceps, and now I can proudly flex them. I also thought having black hair was boring, so I got an ombre. I thought it looked pretty and was happy with the physical change I made in myself. I also like to update my wardrobe according to the trend; so when coloured pants became cool, I bought three pairs -- sure, I didn't change my body, but I did spend money to look and feel prettier and more stylish. Not for others, but for myself.

So let's compare old me to new me: I wear retainers when I sleep, I attend the gym 5x/week, I get my hair done, and I shop for clothes when I need an update. If you think about it, those are pretty common things regular Joe's do and are open about and never get criticized for. Sure, I didn't get surgery; but I still changed my body to make myself more attractive. So did I have plastic surgery? Nope. But did I change a lot? Yes.

So what's the difference between the changes I made in myself and the changes my friend made in herself? Well, I can think of three. She only had one change: bigger boobs. Me? The list I mentioned earlier. Another difference is she had a long medical procedure performed by someone who was certified and experienced, while I had many short procedures made by either professionals or myself. The final difference is people point their fingers at her while I'm just a regular girl who has never been called out for the "acceptable" changes I made.

Why are my many changes more socially acceptable than the one change my friend made? Yes, plastic surgeries cost more and have risks. But what if you worked hard and saved up for it? Or you simply have the financial means for it? What if the doctor you had the surgery with was competent and experienced? If we lived in a world where plastic surgeries were free, quick, and guaranteed to have no risks associated with them, would we judge people less?

Another example is Angelina Jolie; she risked having breast cancer, so she had them removed and then got fake boobs. Would you tell her to be boobless? Not unless you're a judgmental jerk. Telling someone what to do with their own body is just rude. If you don't care about how pretty you look, kudos to you! But it doesn't mean you're smarter or more down to earth; it just means you don't care how pretty you look. It's not a bad thing, it's just a fact.

Yes, there are exceptions; there are people like Human Ken Doll, for example, who turned these life-risking surgeries into hobbies. Or women who get so much botox you can't even recognize them anymore. So yes, if you're talking about people who have way too many surgeries to the point where it's unhealthy and they become unrecognizable, then yes; they should tone it down for their own sake. But ultimately, it still doesn't mean they're bad people. I met a person who had over thirty cosmetic surgeries, but they were one of the nicest, most down-to-earth people I've met.

I think our society and our culture, overemphasizes forming your own opinions and being able to debate and defend them to such an extent that judging and criticizing is okay now. It's okay to tell a complete stranger they're stupid or ugly when they disagree with you. If you say a person you've never even met or talked to is superficial, plastic, or fake simply because they had cosmetic surgeries, you get "likes" for it.

This leads us to be critical of others without taking the time to really get to know them. Whatever happened to talking to that person and carrying a meaningful conversation with them? Whatever happened to being kind to someone even when you don't agree with their opinions or choices? Have you ever considered that the way we make these people feel when we criticize them is so much worse than how they could've felt about themselves before they even had the surgery? No; we're too busy trying to brag about how knowledgeable and opinionated we are to give a crap about how we make them feel about themselves.

My Entrance to the Temple :)

It's been over two months since I received my endowment and the only sign (on social media) that it actually happened was my mother's Instagram post. But, it did happen and I'm excited to tell you all about it... well, at least as much as I can.

Before I received my endowment some people warned me that they freaked out when they received theirs, and that it was weird and cultish. The ones who didn't freak out, on the other hand, thought I would be fine. So I played it safe and prepared myself as much as I could, to make sure I wouldn't freak out. I wanted it to be a spiritual experience.

I fasted 24 hours before leaving to go to the temple. The night before the endowment, I was nervous and upset about something. Because I was upset, I wasn't sure if my heart was in the right place for me to go to the temple. So to invite the spirit, I read some of my notes from when I was preparing and studying for the temple, and I felt this tremendous amount of peace and a burning in my bosom. I knew with all my heart I needed to go to the temple the following day, and that this was just opposition the adversary was throwing at me to try to keep me from going. So I prayed and asked that I could resolve those things that had made me upset so that I could have a positive experience in the temple. And the next day they did resolve!

Before we left for the temple, my dad gave me a priesthood blessing, on my request. I don't remember much of what he said, but I balled my eyes out the entire time and the spirit was incredibly strong, even though he didn't say much about my temple experience. I have it recorded, so I'll listen to it again some time.

When I got to the temple, the temple matron gave me instructions. She asked if I was a member my whole life, to which I said yes. Then she said "oh, so you must've gone through Young Women's and repeated every Sunday that you'd be preparing for this day!" as soon as she said that I began to cry because I realized how special this day was because I had been preparing my whole life for it. I realized my preparation didn't start after I talked to my bishop about it, or during temple prep courses. Every little experience in life -- going through difficult trials these past couple years, moving to Canada by myself and living with non-members, receiving my YW medallion, trying to make good choices as a teenager, reciting the YW theme every Sunday for 6 years, reading the Book of Mormon by myself for the first time, doing baptisms for the dead, being baptized, all the primary songs and lessons, family scripture study and prayer -- ALL these things played a role in my preparation. I needed that many experiences to be prepared, because of how special this day was.

To quote it, the young women theme says "We are daughters of our Heavenly Father who loves us, and we love Him. We will stand as witnesses of God at all times, and in all things, and in all places, as we strive to live the Young Women values, which are: Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrity, and Virtue. We believe that as we come to accept and act upon these values, we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation."

I cried the entire time during the initiatory. I don't remember anything that was said or even happened, but I just knew I was receiving a sacred ordinance from God. I can't really explain why I cried, or the thoughts I had. I just really felt the spirit! Even remembering it now makes me tear up a little. I hope and pray that I'll always remember it.

I also felt the spirit during the endowment; I didn't cry the whole time like I did during the initiatory, but there were definitely some parts where I felt the spirit and felt glad I packed some Kleenexes in my pocket. If I were to tell an unendowed person what happens in an endowment session, I would say you make covenants, receive instructions, then be "tested" on what you just learned. There wasn't any doctrine that we don't learn in church..  So to me, it doesn't make sense when people say "it was different and threw me off". 

During the session, I felt as though I had been doing/seeing that my whole life; it all felt right and familiar. And when the things that were new to me were presented, I felt as though I was in a dance lesson learning the choreography. I definitely didn't understand the symbolism, but I felt calm and extremely peaceful the entire time. There was nothing too unfamiliar to me to throw me off. In fact, the entire time I kept asking myself "where's the weird part that freaks people out?" So much so that when I realized the session was about to end,  I thought to myself, "that's it? that's what shook some people's testimonies? pffffffft" I feel the same way about my garments; I'm not sure if it just hasn't sunk in yet or what, but wearing them isn't unfamiliar to me and I feel like I've been wearing them my whole life. Sure, I'm just starting to figure out what materials and sizes work for me, but I don't feel like I'm limited by them.

If I could sum up the endowment into just a few simple words, I would say beautiful and sacred. Though I didn't understand anything, I felt extremely calm and peaceful throughout the whole session and it felt right. Not a burning in my bosom or feeling mind-blown; but just a calm reassurance. It's interesting because it wasn't until after a few hours when I pondered on the experience that I felt mind blown and a burning in my bosom -- particularly when I remembered making the covenants. But for some reason the Spirit spoke differently to me at the time. It was beautiful! And the more I looked back at the experience, the more I took away from it... kind of like re-reading your Patriarchal blessing and getting a different meaning out of it every time you do.

When the session was over, my mom asked if I enjoyed it, to which I said, "I guess?" because I was so calm, it hadn't really sunk in. Then she asked, "are you glad you went?" to which I promptly said yes. Sometimes, we don't really understand what we're doing or learning, but deep down we know it's right and that if we continue to walk in obedience, eventually we will. I was at a fireside with a member of the Calgary Temple presidency who said not everyone understands the entire mechanical system of a car, but we know we need one, so we buy it... it's the same thing with covenants; we might not understand them, but we know we must make and keep them.

I felt incredibly happy that I went and I couldn't wait to go back soon because I couldn't remember much that happened or really understood anything. It was weird because as soon as I left the temple, I couldn't remember anything, but later that day as I reflected on it I started to remember and feel the spirit. And as I went again a couple more times, I not only began to understand more, but I craved to go back again the soonest I could. Most people say they understood it the second time way more than the first, but it wasn't the case for me. I was still confused the second time; I just understood it a little more each time I went. Once I got the hang of it and knew what I was doing, my mind and my spirit had more room to reflect on the ordinances and come to understand them.

Many people react differently to their first endowment session. Let's address the people freaking out thing: it's a bunch of baloney. If you take it seriously and prepare for it, you won't freak out. There is nothing weird, funny, or cultish about it. The only reasons someone should feel that way about the temple is if they didn't take the time to prepare for it and/or they lack spiritual maturity. The parts where those people are thrown off by, ended up being the ones I felt the spirit the strongest. I actually find it extremely disrespectful and irreverent for someone to talk about the temple ordinances, something so sacred, that way. I'm sorry to say this, but it reminds me of that scripture in 1 Nephi 16:2: "the wicked taketh the truth to be hard". Wicked would be a harsh way to describe those people, so let's replace it with spiritually immature or unprepared... So, the spiritually immature or unprepared taketh the truth to be hard. Makes sense, right? Here's a more politically correct scripture in D&C 38:30: "(...)if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear". And the good news is, your level of preparation is up to you! Your reaction to the temple is your call and depends on how seriously you take the gospel.

I am grateful to say mine was extremely positive, peaceful, and spiritually uplifting. I mentioned earlier that I wasn't mind-blown or felt a burning in my bosom. In fact, I was a little flustered because I didn't know exactly what I was doing. It even made me wonder if I was prepared to be there because of that. But looking back, here's a sign that I was indeed supposed to be there: I left the temple wanting to become better -- not out of fear because of the serious covenants I had made, but because I felt an indescribably deep, sincere desire to stay close to God. Elder Bednar explained in his last General Conference talk that fear of God isn't to be scared of Him, but to have a deep respect and reverence for Him... and that's exactly how I felt and still feel.

My advice to the unendowed people is to go to the temple! But don't just go; prepare yourself to make those covenants. Make yourself 100% worthy, study as much as you can, develop a strong relationship with God and learn to rely on the Spirit. The more you take your preparation seriously, the better your experience in the temple will be. Do whatever you can to enter the temple doors. Don't let Satan or anyone feed you those lies that you're not good enough to get to that point. Christ took your sins upon himself for that reason! The feeling of walking into the Celestial Room and hugging your family and friends there will confirm to you that what I'm saying is true. Later on I'll make a post about some tips and advice on making the most out of your temple experience!

Love,
Kim

My Path to the Temple - Part 2

When I first moved to Toronto I was a little scared; I didn't know anyone and had to figure everything out on my own. So I decided to go to the temple as soon as I had a day off. I kid you not, as soon as I got off the bus and saw the temple, I began balling my eyes out. I knew that even though I was in a new province, I was back home. And I could feel the spirit testifying that to me, which is Lesson #3 Learned: No matter where I go, if I'm keeping my covenants, the temple is always my home because it is the House of the Lord. It was such an amazing feeling! The Toronto temple might actually be my favourite Canadian temple.

So, I took temple prep in Toronto. Then my bishop there interviewed me. I told him as much as I was worthy and took all the classes, that I didn't want to receive my recommend just yet, especially because I wouldn't be getting endowed for a while with my dad living at the other end of the world and all. I was also working a lot with my internship; my mind was so career-driven, I hadn't really given it room for the gospel. I just didn't feel like my heart was in the right place at the time.

He asked, "Well, how do you feel about your membership in the church?"

I had never given thought to it, so after thinking about it, I said, "It means the world to me. It defines me. It's my most sacred gift from God." and I realized how much I loved this gospel and how grateful I felt to have it in my life.

Then he asked, "Do you have faith in, and a testimony of God the Eternal Father, His son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost?"

Without thinking twice I said absolutely.

He asked me some more questions, to which I answered yes to without thinking twice. I realized I have a strong testimony and how much I love God and this gospel and that I was indeed ready to make covenants with Him.

Then before I know it, he asks if I'm keeping the law of chastity. THAT was when I finally realized he tricked me into getting interviewed and recommended! "Oh well, might as well keep answering the questions" I thought to myself. I was found worthy to obtain a recommend, which I already knew I was. But more than that, I found myself ready and willing to make those covenants -- which I didn't believe I was until I answered those questions truthfully from the heart. He gave me a run-down of the endowment, and I felt an incredible spirit during that interview; it was amazing. Towards the end of it I had tears in my eyes and said, "That sounds beautiful. Can you please sign my recommend now? I want to do this ASAP!"

Then I met with the stake president and, though I didn't know anything about him (not even his name) until I actually met him, the spirit was SO strong during that interview! It was kind of a sacred experience, so I'd rather not share it here. But let's just say it was another confirmation from God that He accepted me enough to welcome me into His holy house and that I was ready to make serious covenants.

Lesson #4 Learned: We underestimate ourselves so much sometimes. The Lord sees in us what we cannot see for ourselves, which is our divine potential and how much closer we've come to it.

Lesson #5 Learned: The 3 most important things a member can do for him/herself are to develop 1) a strong testimony, 2) love and gratitude for the gospel, and 3) a strong relationship with God. Everything else will fall into place. 

In December, I moved back to Kelowna. But it was decided my dad wouldn't be back until May, but I was so excited I booked the Calgary temple.

On late February we had a temple trip to the Vancouver temple. I figured since I didn't know when I'd be back in the temple before my endowment with a crazy semester ahead of me, that I'd get my temple packet then just to be safe. I was overwhelmed at the many items I had to choose from (especially because I wasn't able to actually try them on or even see them), but luckily my mom had given me some tips on what to buy.

After that stress, I left the distribution centre with the biggest smile on my face. I was SO happy and so thrilled! I felt the spirit testify to me that I was exactly where God wanted me to be in my life: preparing to make sacred covenants with Him. That was when it finally started to sink in, and I wasn't nervous or scared at all like I was in the summer... I was just excited to come back in a couple months and progress by making those covenants.

As we were leaving the temple, we accidentally saw someone dressed in their full ceremonial clothing. I was shocked (and somewhat guilty) that it happened, so I looked away. But I didn't freak out like most people say they did when they saw it for the first time. It was different from what I imagined it to look like when I read the book of Exodus, but it didn't weird me out. I mean, the church did publish that video, which might have helped me kind of know what to expectbecause I took it so seriously when I committed myself to prepare for those covenants, that my mind and my heart were open to anything.

On the drive back to Kelowna, my friend and I were talking about that incident and he admitted to me he freaked out in his first session because he wasn't fully prepared. We talked about some things people need to keep in mind and as we did, I felt the spirit testify to me that I was prepared and that I would enjoy the experience.

Lesson #6 Learned: Sometimes, the Spirit will testify to us of the trust and confidence God has in us, because in many cases it's what it takes for us to take that leap of faith.

From that point, I not only knew it was God's will that I went to the temple, but it also became my will.

To be continued...

My Path to the Temple - Part 1

I think this is pretty much common knowledge, but: I'M GETTING ENDOWED!
Answer to the FAQ's:

1. Are you engaged? No.
2. Are you going on a mission? No.
3. Are you 25 or over? No.

So, if I am in none of those situations, why and how did I get myself in this situation where for the rest of my life and eternity, I will be under sacred covenants with God? In this blog post, I hope to answer that question, not just because I love telling stories, but also because hopefully this will help others who are either preparing for or considering going through the temple.

My dad loves the temple and last summer (2014 in Calgary) he said I should prepare to receive my endowment. I thought he was just looking for someone to make him company in the temple. I mean, I did remember when I was considering serving a mission and my brother-in-law taught me temple prep that I really felt the spirit and the desire to go, and also when I attended the Calgary temple open house and how much I wanted to receive my endowment there, but I didn't feel qualified. I was worthy and all, but I just wasn't ready. I had so many friends "scare me off" from going there saying how much they freaked out and that it was cultish and weird (some even said funny), or that their testimonies were shaken. 

I didn't want that to happen to me; I wanted my first endowment session to be special, and to feel the spirit and close to God. Endowed people patronize me a lot saying you'll never get it the first time, which I know. But I want to at least feel the spirit instead of fear... that's NOT too much to ask for. So as much as I was worthy to attend the temple, I didn't think I was ready and didn't want to risk freaking out. As much as I've never really broken any of my baptismal covenants, I was scared to make bigger covenants. Because, you're judged based on your knowledge -- so the less knowledge and covenants under my belt, the less I'd be judged against. I did want to do it someday eventually, just not for a while. So I studied and prepared for it, but with no set date in mind.

Lesson #1 learned: When confronted by a fear, don't hide from it or avoid it -- face it. Prepare yourself to fight it off. See it as a challenge for spiritual development!

Then I was renewing my temple recommend with my branch President. Have you ever had that moment where the spirit hacks your mouth? Well, that happened to me. I randomly blurted out, "President, do you think I'm ready to receive my endowment?" In my head I was like "the heck did I just ask?"

With no hesitation or thinking for a split-second he answered, "Absolutely."

My confusion was passed from my question to his answer, "You don't think I'll freak out or the covenants are too big for 22-year old single me, not going on a mission?"

He said he watched me grow spiritually and believed I was ready and that I'd enjoy the session, and explained some things about the temple.

We agreed that I'd take temple prep classes first. Since I was moving to Toronto, I figured I'd take it there, get my recommend here, then get endowed whenever my dad was able to come back to Canada from Saudi Arabia, which I was hoping wouldn't be til February.

I got home and told my dad everything, but I was still not feeling ready for those covenants. He told me I can't progress without covenants, and that I should see those sacred promises as a blessing and opportunity to grow closer to my potential. 

Then the next Sunday I was like "Meh, I don't wanna wear garments or have the extra responsibility if I can just wait until I get sealed (which let's face it, won't be for a WHILE)!"

That evening the YSA had a fireside with the Calgary Temple President. Guess what the topic was? Hesitation to make covenants! It answered every single one of my questions and doubts, and the spirit was incredibly strong. I knew it was because the Lord really needed me in the temple. My hesitation instantly turned into an urge.

After the fireside I had to drive someone home, and she lived right by the temple. After I dropped her off, I drove by the temple. I was breathtaken by its beauty and its glory. I pulled over just to stare at it for a good five minutes and the spirit was incredibly strong and I began tearing up and I just KNEW I had to be in the temple as soon as I could. More importantly, I wanted to go so badly.

Upon leaving for Toronto, my dad gave me a blessing where he confirmed that it was the Lord's desire and plan that I prepared to receive my endowment.

Lesson #2 Learned: Note how I made the decision before having the confirmation? Had I not opened my heart to the spirit, I would've never had the prompting and consequently made that decision. God doesn't move parked cars! I had to study and prepare first, then ask my Branch President that question, I had to attend the fireside, I had to stop by the temple. THEN God acted.

To be continued....

What I Wish I'd Known As A Teenage Girl

Dear Teenage Girls,

Tonight I'm dedicating my post to you! Though I may not know all of you, I feel connected to you. I know your struggles, your temptations, your expectations, the little things that make you insecure, and your frustrations, because I've been there. It sucks! Being a teenage girl, especially in this day and age, isn't easy.

I see these teenage girls all over my social media accounts who could get away with saying they're older than me by the way they dress and the length of their fingernails, like they desperately want to be my age. Little do they know they have it all by embracing the simple, just being 15 life. Sure, 23 is great and the freedom that comes with it is undeniable, but if I could relive my teenage years after everything I learned and know now, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Tonight I'll share some of the things I wish I'd known when I was a teenager.

1. Give No Room For Drama: We see celebrities (i.e. Katy Perry vs Taylor Swift) doing it. The characters from our favourite TV show doing it. So it must be cool, right? Prove that you're tough and strong by competing with another girl and hopefully winning. Not so. A strong, independent, and capable woman doesn't need to put other women down to feel good about herself. She is kind, loving, and looks for ways to serve, because she is happy with who she is. Take my two best friends in Kelowna -- Kaylia and Char. We've been best friends since before their missions and we're still super close. I like to think they are two of the best girls in the stake. They are beautiful, kind, solid, and talented women.
   
   But, I'm not intimidated or threatened by them and neither are they by me. We've even dated and liked some of the same guys, but we've never had any drama come from that. Instead, we chose to learn from each other's talents and uplift each other. Take me and Char -- she just learned how to knit, so sometimes I'll teach her a few tricks and tips. And on the other hand, she also teaches me some tips and tricks for my workouts. Or me and Kaylia -- I can be impatient with people and lazy sometimes. Kaylia, on the other hand, is one of the kindest, most patient, most service-oriented people I've ever met and I learn so much from her example. The three of us keep each other's secrets and respect and help each other. With that being said, STOP COMPETING! Everyone is different, but everyone is good at something.
   
   But sometimes, no matter how much we avoid it, there are people who can't help but invite drama into everyone's lives around them. I've learned that people who constantly have drama in their lives are usually unhappy or insecure. Even now at 23, I still run into people like that. What to do in that situation? Well, the Saviour taught that if a brother offends you, you talk to them in private about it (and don't go around telling everyone about your feud). But always be kind and forgiving, and always see the good in people, and always love them. But don't be afraid to cut those people off from your life -- not because you're mad at them, but because you don't have time or energy for stupid drama.
   
   Refrain from judging. Refrain from fighting. Refrain from gossip. Strive to be loving. Strive to be kind. Look for ways to serve those around you. Life is so much simpler without drama or competition. Life is so much happier when we choose to love and uplift those around us.
   
   
2. Think before you trust: This is hard for extroverts who sometimes need to talk it off with people. But trust me, you don't want personal information exposed to random idiots who don't care about you. So, be careful with who you trust. The Saviour himself taught us not to cast pearls unto swines. I've come up with the following red flags to spot a backstabber:
             - They tell you other peoples' secrets
             - They speak negatively of others behind their back
             - They love drama and/or gossip
             - They don't have a solid foundation in the gospel
             - They aren't the most sensitive people
             - They don't express a genuine desire to uplift or empower those around them
             - When they screw up, they justify themselves and come up with excuses instead of owning up to it and apologizing.
             - They constantly play the victim
             - Overall, when it comes to evaluating someone's character, actions speak louder than words.
   
   And should someone end up stabbing you in the back, don't worry. The worst thing you can do is get worked up about it and beat yourself up. Don't cry over spilled milk -- it's done, it happened and there's nothing you can do about it. Just learn from that mistake and move on. I promise you it'll be over and that those moments are there to help you learn who your real friends are. And might I add that the best way to avoid being stabbed in the back is to be a trustworthy person yourself.
   
   
   
   
   
3. Get off your stupid iPhones: I was blessed to have been a teenager before Facebook, Instagram, or iPhones were a thing. But we had Orkut, MSN, and iPods and those things REALLY kept me busy. If I could go back I would've used that time to do some extracurricular activities, develop talents, develop a hobby. Yes, I was an Honour Roll, did seminary, took Piano classes and did my Personal Progress... and I'm so glad I did. Because my mom encouraged me to do those things, I'm smart and capable of carrying a conversation, I can magnify my calling as a Relief Society Pianist, and I have a strong testimony. But I wish I had done MUN or drama classes or learned languages. I wish I developed more talents. The younger you are, the easier it is to learn new skills. It's a scientific fact!
   
   
   
4. Don't be afraid to be young: As I mentioned earlier, I always spot 13-year olds wearing high heels with super long fingernails and black nail polish and lots of eyeshadow. Sure, the restrictions your parents impose on you may suck. But trust them -- they've been there. Their rules are based on the choices they made when they were your age, be them good or bad. Enjoy the simplicity that comes with being a teenager. Enjoy not having to worry about taxes, or oil changes, or paying rent/mortgage, being able to afford your expenses, having to make dinner every day, or having to make major career decisions. Be grateful to your parents for looking out for you. Be grateful that they love and care about you enough to want to protect you from today's increasingly toxic world. Remember your parents love you and want nothing but the best for you. Trust them. Respect them. And be obedient. You'll have plenty of time to be an adult, and take it from me, you'll miss being a teenager.
   
   
   
   
   
5. Develop a firm testimony in the gospel: If you haven't already, at some point in your life you will inevitably experience a very difficult hardship that will test every single drop of your faith and testimony. Be ready for that. Develop and constantly strengthen your testimonies NOW. Read the Book of Mormon, go to church every Sunday, attend seminary, do your personal progress, pray daily, serve, magnify your callings, study the words of our living prophets, and keep the commandments so you can see the blessings that come from it. Let the church and the gospel keep you so busy, you have no time to get caught up in the world. Develop that firm foundation today.
   
   Be virtuous. As a teenager, you have raging hormones. But I can say from experience, if you commit now to be virtuous and develop your testimony right away, you WILL have control over that. Virtue comes from the Latin word virtus which means strength. And I can testify that as I've strived to be virtuous, I feel stronger, more confident, and happier. I don't need to show off my skin or give boys what they want to feel like I'm worth something. And if a guy ever pressures you to go further than you know you should, don't be afraid to kick him in the nuts and cut him out of your life. He is being selfish and isn't worth your time, and in the long run he's only looking for temporary pleasures only to ditch you after he gets what he wants. And you, my friend, are a beautiful daughter of God worth so much more than that. Being sexy is easy and shallow. Being virtuous requires strength and confidence, which at the end of the day, is way more attractive.
   
   The media glamourizes mistakes, as though you can only be wise if you make stupid choices. That is a lie that Satan came up with to tempt you to screw up. Yes, you can repent and learn from the mistakes you make. But it is so much easier to avoid the painful process of repentance and you will actually be stronger by not purposefully making those mistakes, because you don't have feelings of guilt to overcome. My little sisters, as we get closer to the second coming, the adversary is working his hardest to ensure that less people are prepared so that they can be as miserable as he is. Don't let that happen to you. You are a precious daughter of God with so much potential and so much ahead of you. God loves you more than you can possibly comprehend. He knows your life, your struggles, your insecurities. Pray to Him often -- He loves hearing from you! The happiest that I've ever been was when I developed a strong bond with my loving Heavenly Father.
   
   
   
6. Love yourself: I know you hear this enough from Dove or Always, but it's true. Be proud of your womanhood! Unlock your potential. Confident girls are not only more attractive, but they have an easier time making good choices. So believe in yourself and recognize your strengths and talents. If anyone convinces you you're not enough, they're wrong and don't know you well enough. Do you really think God, your loving Heavenly Father would send you to Earth without any strengths to help you get through this mortal journey?
   
   Another thing that comes from lack of self-love is the fear of being single. Chick flick movies and fairy tales brainwash girls into thinking they are not complete or happy unless they have a boyfriend. In a way, yes, you need the sealing ordinance in order to obtain your exaltation. But trust me, take it from someone who's dated a lot, having a boyfriend will not complete you. Yeah, dating's fun and boyfriends do a good job at boosting your ego and melting your heart. But don't make that your number one priority or reason for your happiness. Focus on you and developing yourself and in God's own timing, the right person will come around when you're ready. Get to know yourself and be comfortable being on your own. Develop emotional independence and never hand over the remote control to your emotions to anyone, not even your husband.
   
   So how do you go about developing confidence? Invest in yourself. Take classes, be open to new adventures and experiences, travel, let your work speak for you, learn to love your cute little flaws, get an education, read good books and articles, spend time around deep people, make rational decisions, make good choices so you can see the good things that come into your life, develop a bond with God, exercise, take care of yourself, don't be afraid to look pretty, develop your own opinions and defend them, don't let people walk all over you, be kind, be generous, be you!

So remember: Give no room for drama, think before you trust, get off your stupid iPhones, don't be afraid to be young, develop a firm testimony in the gospel, and love yourself. I promise that as you do these things, you will be happier, more confident, and closer to your divine potential.

Follow thou me

Viewers! Whattup? I decided to post my talk from yesterday since I was told I talked so fast it was hard for the congregation to keep up with me, hahaha. Seriously, I need to just breathe and slow down:

Good morning brothers and sisters and happy international women's day to the sisters!

As I prepared for this talk, I recalled going on a walk with my dad in Calgary, AB around Christmas time. Those of you who have been to Calgary during Christmas time probably know where I'm going with this. On the way to the train station, a pile of about 1-2 feet of snow was in our way. My dad was wearing appropriate shoes for the condition, while I, being from BC, was wearing converse sneakers, which by the way were really Air Walk sneakers that had a couple holes in the corner. My dad came up with the following idea: "I will walk ahead of you and all you need to do is step where I stepped, and your feet won't get frozen or wet." He was wearing the proper shoes that made him capable of sinking his feet into the snow so that I wouldn't need to.

I tried to step where he stepped, but because he's taller and has longer legs than mine, his strides were too long for me to be able to do so. Frustrated, impatient, and somewhat prideful,  I thought it'd be easier and quicker if I just went my own way, thinking it wouldn't be so bad if I did. Not so. As soon as my feet stepped outside of where he stepped, they froze, especially with the holes in my shoes. And for those of you who have gotten their feet frozen, can agree that it's not fun. After those painful and traumatizing seconds, I never wanted it to happen to me again so I did my best to follow his every footstep. And when it got hard, I asked him to hold my hand so that he could better guide me in following his every step. Had it not been for my dad walking in front of me and laying down the footsteps, I wouldn't have been able to make that walk.

Our path back to our Heavenly home can be like that pile of snow. And as human beings, we don't have the adequate shoes to walk to our destination without stumbling and freezing our feet on the way there. We cannot make it by ourselves. That is why we have the Saviour, who was perfect and thus capable of sinking his feet into the snow so that all we need to do is follow Him, and as we do, we will return home. It's not always easy and his strides may be too long for us at times, but we can pray and ask him to take our hand and guide us home as my dad guided me to the train station.

The Saviour said “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Sometimes it can be quite the labour and we can feel heavy laden as we try to walk across the pile of snow. But if we come unto the Saviour, He will give us rest. These words come from our loving older brother who not only loved us so much to provide instructions on how to return to our Heavenly Father and to make the ultimate sacrifice to help us get there, but who genuinely knows, loves, and cares about us and wants us to come home more than anything. He wants us to be happy, He wants us to succeed. His invitation is simple: "Come, follow me."

Now what does it mean to follow Him? Elder Gavarret, in the October 2014 General Conference said the following:

"One who is a member of the Church and has accepted this invitation renews the commitment each week by partaking of the sacrament.6 Part of that commitment includes keeping the commandments; by doing so you are saying, “Yes, Lord, I will follow Thee!”

As a kid, I didn't really know what was going on when I took the Sacrament. But now, when I see a Priesthood holder extending the tray to me, I imagine it being the Saviour extending His arm to me, saying, "Come, follow me." And we are so blessed to have that experience every Sunday where we can come unto Him, repent, and strive to be a little bit better as we go about our week.

The prophet Nephi also adds insight to this concept "And [Jesus] said unto the children of men: Follow thou me. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, can we follow Jesus save we shall be willing to keep the commandments of the Father?"

What Nephi is basically saying is that we need to be willing to be obedient. Following the Saviour is the equivalent to Keeping the Commandments; these terms are interchangeable. We cannot follow the Saviour without keeping the commandments, and we cannot keep the commandments without following the Saviour. His path is a sure way back to our Heavenly home, because He walked that path. And we are so privileged to be in this last dispensation where we have access to all the published works that tell us about the Saviour's life and ministry and Heavenly Father's expectations for us. All we need to do is familiarize ourselves with it and apply them in our lives.

Hymn #220 "Lord, I would follow thee" provides further instructions on how we can follow the Saviour even more. I will list out its instructions for us:

·      Learn to love the Saviour

·       Walk the path that He has shown us

·       Pause to help and lift another

·       Be our brother's keeper

·       Learn the healer's art

·       Show a gentle heart to the wounded and the weary

·       Love our brother as we know the Saviour loves me

·       Be the Saviour's servant

Some of you may have noticed I skipped the second verse, and it's because I have a story behind it. Back in the day there was a girl (who is not from this stake so don't bother trying to guess who it is!) who wasn't very nice to me or my friends, so we just didn't get along and I ignored her. One Sunday she taught a really good lesson where she shared a difficult trial that she went through. It was similar to a trial I went through as well, except it affected her a lot more and it explained why she was the way that she was. I start balling my eyes out because I could feel nothing but love and compassion for her. The words of the hymn came to my mind: "Who am I to judge another when I walk imperfectly? In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see. Who am I to judge another? Lord, I would follow thee." and that's exactly it! Who was I to judge her? I'm not the nicest person in the world all the time; I'm also imperfect and I also make mistakes. And I had no idea she was feeling sorrow. As mother Teresa put it: "Be kind to those who are unkind; they need it the most." And that's exactly how we follow the Saviour: sharing kindness with everyone; no exceptions. So after the lesson we hugged out our differences and now we're friends! YAY!

(Testify the Saviour lives) I remember one time I was very burdened with a trial in my life. It wasn't so much its level of difficulty that phased me, but more so the fact that I truly and deeply felt that there was no one I could talk to about what I was going through. No one I knew fully understood my pain, my sadness, or my situation. I was concerned about being judged or getting the right advice. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I couldn't think of anyone to talk to. Then, I heard a loving voice in my heart say: "You can talk to me about anything. I'm here for you always." And I knew that was the Saviour reaching out to me and that I was never forgotten and never will be, and neither will you. I knelt down and began to pray and pour my heart out and as I did, I had a glimpse of the Saviour's experience in the Garden of Gethsemane. I knew that He experienced that exact pain I was feeling then and was ready to have that burden transferred over to Him. And that's what encourages me to follow the Saviour: knowing He suffered for me.

I testify that these things are true. I was in the temple last week and the temple workers asked us to turn off our phones and leave them in the front desk during our session. I was surprised that there were people who hid their phones in their pockets or purses. I thought to myself, "We're in the House of the Lord, do we really need anything else? We don't even get reception in the temple!" And it made me think of the Apostles dropping their fishnets to follow the Saviour. Are we willing to give up our temporal and worldly affairs in order to receive greater eternal blessings by following the Saviour?

I testify through personal experience that it is only by following the Saviour that we can experience true happiness. As I've chosen to follow the Saviour, I was forgiven for my sins and I was able to experience the miracle of forgiveness and it is truly beautiful and strengthening. I was also able to have the strength to overcome my trials because the Saviour was there for me when no one else could be. And it was by following the Saviour that I am becoming more and more prepared to enter the temple and make sacred covenants with God.