One fine and annoying evening, I attended a networking event when I was in college. For those of you who don't know me, I loathe small talking beyond all means. In most cases, networking is just small talk as a means to schmooze up to potential employers. Thus you can imagine how much I enjoyed myself that night. But, I dressed up, smiled, and was friendly. In the midst of this torture, I was sitting with a potential employer during dinner. We talked and carried a good conversation. She asked where I was from, and I told her Brazil. Her reaction was, "Oh, don't all women there get plastic surgeries all the time?" Clearly, she has never been to California. I responded, saying, "Last I checked my nose and my boobs are still real. But good question!"She was one of many people who have asked me this rude, stupid question. Why it's stupid? Because it's not accurate. What I can say, however, is that Brazil has one of the best plastic surgeons in the world. True story: Dr. Ray from 90210 is Brazilian and Brad Pitt flew all the way to Brazil to get some work done on his ribs.
What I can also say is yes; latin-American women do take care of themselves more than North American women and that plastic surgery is more socially acceptable in Brazil. But it doesn't mean all the women get it or need it or rely on it; it just means that when someone chooses to get surgery, Brazilians mind their own business and don't point their fingers at them.
We need to understand what it means to be superficial; a superficial person focuses on things that aren't really important. Being educated is more important than being pretty. Having good character is more important than being wealthy. So yes, focusing on being pretty and having money more than on being educated or of good character, makes a person superficial.
However, just because someone aims to make more money or takes care of themselves, doesn't mean they're superficial. Such assumption is judgmental, because you don't know if they're trying to improve themselves in other aspects too. We tend to generalize and assume ALL people who have had surgeries are superficial, which is not only inaccurate, but unkind. Being pretty or wealthy isn't a bad thing; so long as your priorities are in the right place.
We also tend to assume that people only get surgeries because either they get bullied or their abusive partner told them to. That's also a very hasty generalization. Some people just like to be attractive, and it's not a bad thing!
I know people who have had cosmetic surgeries, and they're not less of people because of them. I had a friend who was flat-chested even after puberty. She decided to get her boobs done; not because anyone told her to, but because it was her body and she wanted to feel better in it. Some of you may be reading this and thinking "She should've just learned to embrace her flat chest and develop confidence instead!" Ok, sure. Now let's take me: I personally have never had plastic surgery. I did, however, wear braces when I was a teenager because my front teeth were crooked and I was too self-conscious to smile for pictures. Once I had them removed after nine months, I felt prettier, more confident, and comfortable in my skin.
I also used to have flabby arms; I didn't like them, so I went to the gym 5 days a week and did weights on my biceps and triceps, and now I can proudly flex them. I also thought having black hair was boring, so I got an ombre. I thought it looked pretty and was happy with the physical change I made in myself. I also like to update my wardrobe according to the trend; so when coloured pants became cool, I bought three pairs -- sure, I didn't change my body, but I did spend money to look and feel prettier and more stylish. Not for others, but for myself.
So let's compare old me to new me: I wear retainers when I sleep, I attend the gym 5x/week, I get my hair done, and I shop for clothes when I need an update. If you think about it, those are pretty common things regular Joe's do and are open about and never get criticized for. Sure, I didn't get surgery; but I still changed my body to make myself more attractive. So did I have plastic surgery? Nope. But did I change a lot? Yes.
So what's the difference between the changes I made in myself and the changes my friend made in herself? Well, I can think of three. She only had one change: bigger boobs. Me? The list I mentioned earlier. Another difference is she had a long medical procedure performed by someone who was certified and experienced, while I had many short procedures made by either professionals or myself. The final difference is people point their fingers at her while I'm just a regular girl who has never been called out for the "acceptable" changes I made.
Why are my many changes more socially acceptable than the one change my friend made? Yes, plastic surgeries cost more and have risks. But what if you worked hard and saved up for it? Or you simply have the financial means for it? What if the doctor you had the surgery with was competent and experienced? If we lived in a world where plastic surgeries were free, quick, and guaranteed to have no risks associated with them, would we judge people less?
Another example is Angelina Jolie; she risked having breast cancer, so she had them removed and then got fake boobs. Would you tell her to be boobless? Not unless you're a judgmental jerk. Telling someone what to do with their own body is just rude. If you don't care about how pretty you look, kudos to you! But it doesn't mean you're smarter or more down to earth; it just means you don't care how pretty you look. It's not a bad thing, it's just a fact.
Yes, there are exceptions; there are people like Human Ken Doll, for example, who turned these life-risking surgeries into hobbies. Or women who get so much botox you can't even recognize them anymore. So yes, if you're talking about people who have way too many surgeries to the point where it's unhealthy and they become unrecognizable, then yes; they should tone it down for their own sake. But ultimately, it still doesn't mean they're bad people. I met a person who had over thirty cosmetic surgeries, but they were one of the nicest, most down-to-earth people I've met.
I think our society and our culture, overemphasizes forming your own opinions and being able to debate and defend them to such an extent that judging and criticizing is okay now. It's okay to tell a complete stranger they're stupid or ugly when they disagree with you. If you say a person you've never even met or talked to is superficial, plastic, or fake simply because they had cosmetic surgeries, you get "likes" for it.
This leads us to be critical of others without taking the time to really get to know them. Whatever happened to talking to that person and carrying a meaningful conversation with them? Whatever happened to being kind to someone even when you don't agree with their opinions or choices? Have you ever considered that the way we make these people feel when we criticize them is so much worse than how they could've felt about themselves before they even had the surgery? No; we're too busy trying to brag about how knowledgeable and opinionated we are to give a crap about how we make them feel about themselves.
