Love Me, Firework

My lovely and faithful readers,

I'm gonna start this off by getting you to listen to this song and to pay close attention to the lyrics:

Unless you skipped the video, at this point you can guess what I am about to talk about: self-love. Self-love is a concept that most of us may be familiar with but often take for granted with regard to its importance. In the scriptures we are taught to be humble, selfless, submissive, meek, fearing of God, secretive about our good works, and non-judgmental. Some of us apply these things to such an extreme that we lose respect for ourselves, and we eventually forget to love ourselves.

One evening I was meeting with the employment specialist and we were working on my resume. Because it was skills-based, my job was to list all my qualifications as an HR person. That was a challenging assignment, and I told him straight-up how I felt about myself and expressed my thoughts. After telling me he wanted to spray water on me like he does to his cat, he proceeded to say many inspired things and I could tell he was moved by the spirit as he did so. I really felt the spirit and came to the conclusion that there was so much more to me than I knew.

He challenged me to come up with a list of qualities I had that made be eligible to land an HR position. I did as he asked. As I did so, I just felt so much genuine, Christlike love for myself. The minute I decided to stop focusing on the mistakes I’ve made, my bad habits, my failures, and my weaknesses, and allowed myself to remember the good things I’ve done, the moments where I chose righteousness over temporal pleasure, the moments I served others and made someone feel special, or the moments I blew peoples’ minds, I was able to see my qualities.

It's okay to love yourself. Scratch that -- it's ESSENTIAL that we love ourselves. Yet, some of us don't. Why? I've come up with 3 reasons:

1. Some of us try so hard to please others, we forget about ourselves to the point where we let them walk all over us.
   
   Yes, we should be selfless and put others' needs above our own. But too much of a good thing can lead to the neglect of other good things. In other words, if it gets to the point where "serving" others requires giving up important things like your values, those people you're trying to please are not worth your efforts -- not even your Mr. or Mrs. Right. Why? He/she would never require that from you, because they will not only love you and accept you for who you are, but they will also expect you to love yourself. The thought of you not loving yourself would be incomprehensible to them.
   
   My healthiest, longest friendships were ones where those friends not only made me feel good about myself, but also encouraged me to do so. Not loving myself is unacceptable to those friends. Think of a friend, a sibling, or anyone else who you love. When you truly love that person, you can't help but admire their qualities and will do anything to make them see those qualities and encourage them to continue to develop more of them.
   
   So, don't be afraid to cut off those people who make you feel less about yourself, and surround yourself with people who truly love you and want you to feel the same about yourself. Why? Because, you are amazing. You're a child of God who has placed in you divine qualities you have yet to discover. And if a person can't see your potential or your qualities, they're not worth your time and you are better off without them.
   
   
   
    
2. Some of us let the cruel things people do or say to us define the way we feel about ourselves. 
   
   This is a very common mistake (emphasis on mistake). Never let the way people treat you define the way you feel about yourself. You need to love yourself enough so that when people mistreat you, it can't hurt you. Never give these people that power or privilege, because they obviously don't deserve it. Sure, it sucks when people go around talking trash about you and people believe and side with them. I've been there. But trust me: see that as an opportunity to realize who your true friends are.
   
   Develop emotional independence. Or in other words, never give someone the remote control to your emotions. Be so emotionally independent that when someone says cruel things to you, betrays you, and causes some other form of harm to you, you won't let it get to you. Is that possible? Yes. Because when you love yourself, you know the difference between being a low person and a genuine person. And you know that it takes a low person to go out of their way to put others down.
   
   When you love yourself, you won't feel the need to get even, or even demand that respect out of them. You may argue that you should stand up for yourself, but I have learned that, not spending a second of your time or energy on low people, is the best form of standing up for yourself. It shows that it doesn't get to you and that they're so low, they're not worth getting back at. When you love yourself, you don't get upset; rather, you'll be genuinely kind and pray for them in return. (Hence turning the other cheek). When you love yourself, things like that don't hurt you because you know none of it is true.
   
   
   
   
   We make the mistake of wanting to prove to others that those negative things they may think about us aren't true. But you know what I learned? If you believe in something and know it to be true with all your heart, it really doesn't matter what others think on that regard. You won't feel like you need to defend it or prove it because if it is true, people will eventually see that. And if they don't, obviously they catch on slow, and if you're like me who doesn't have patience with stupid people, we can both agree they are not worth your time. Jesus himself wasn't all upset that people thought He had a devil in Him; He was upset that people didn't follow Him because He knew there'd be spiritual consequences for that, but He didn't run around begging people to listen to His side of the story or any of that crap we do.
   
   
3. Similar to the second reason, some of us lack faith for whatever reason and as a result refuse to love ourselves.
   
   All of us go through trials. They suck. I am NOT and will probably never be one of those people who thank God for trials, because I'm not grateful for them. However, I am grateful for His help and His love through it all, and for what I could learn from them. I look back on some trials I went through and still don't understand why I was given them or what I could learn from them. But, some of them are there just to teach you how patient you can be, or how kind and forgiving you are capable of being, or how faithful to God you are. That is the point I am trying to make: if you are given a trial, don't lose faith and instead, see this as an opportunity to see yourself the way God sees you.
   
   When we lose faith, we don't understand how much God loves us. When we understand how much God loves us, we can't help but love ourselves. Ever had that experience where we feel God's love for someone so strongly that we can't help but love that person ourselves? (Yeah, so when you're struggling to get along with someone, ask God to help you feel His love for them and that should do the trick.) So, why can't we have that experience for us? Why can't we, when feeling God's love for us, feel that way about ourselves too?
   
   Faith is a principle of action. When you have faith in yourself, you do the things you're supposed to do to get to your divine potential. If you love and believe in yourself, you see the end-goal and you endure. You do what you can to reach that goal and nothing can stop you.

Ever wondered what makes a BA a BA? It's their confidence and self-respect. Ever noticed in scenes where the villain tries to insult or hurt the BA, the BA confidently makes a witty sarcastic remark or just walks away? Notice their indifferent expressions? Be that BA.

Story time:

"There was once a bunch of tiny frogs, who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants.

The race began…

No one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. They shouted, “Oh, way too difficult!!! They will NEVER make it to the top” and “Not a chance. The tower is too high”.

The tiny frogs began collapsing, one by one except for those who, in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher….

The crowd continued to yell, “It’s too difficult! No one will make it!”

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up… But one continued higher and higher. This one wouldn’t give up! And he reached the top.

Everyone wanted to know how this one frog managed such a great feat.

His secret? This little frog was deaf!!

The wisdom of this story is:

Ignore the pessimism of others. It can take your dreams from you. Stay positive."

All of us have different qualities, attributes, and talents. But moreover, all of us have that je ne sais quoi. Each and every one of us have that special and unique something about us that set us apart from everyone. It's a matter of discovering it.

One more Katy song to whose lyrics I will request your attention:

Be you. Love that person you truly are, and many positive results will come from it. Because honestly, when we are being hard on ourselves, we are disobeying the Lord. True story! How? I've come up with five ways:

Stay tuned for next week's post and you'll know...