So Small, It Must Cease To Exist

This is one of the 9 posts that are saved as drafts on my file here. I also have tones on my computer. And there's a lot of articles on my secret 'blog ideas' board on Pinterest. I've been learning I am more into politics and social values than I thought I was, so I have a ton of things I'm ready to talk about! Topics range from feminism, to conservatism, to marriage laws, to education, to social equality. I can't think of all the topics from the top of my head, but I'm just really excited!! For now I will continue my list of pet peeves and FAQ's.



Basic Get-to-know-you's. They don't bother me, but I'm just sooooooo sick of answering the same questions over and over. As mentioned in the previous post, I don't like small talk and the following questions precede small talk.

1. What are you taking? What year are you in?
   Business, specializing in Human Resources. Senior year.
2. What are your plans after graduating?
   I have no clue. Get a job for sure and save up for my next adventure. In the long-run I'd like to do worldwide humanitarian work and be a motivational speaker. But, I'll have to save up to do non-profit stuff and I have to go on crazy adventures and earn more degrees before I can qualify to be a motivational speaker worth listening to. I'm passionate about writing, teaching, and making a difference.
3. What do you do for fun?
   Depends on my mood, really. There's tonnes of things I like to do, but I need to be in the mood to do it. I love writing, public speaking, making videos, eating out, watching movies, dancing and singing in the privacy of my bedroom, and taking care of myself. Taking care of myself branches out to many girly things -- I like working out a lot, watching YouTube beauty tutorials and trying them, painting my nails, getting my hair done at the salon (I currently have the best hair stylist I've ever had), and shopping. I also like ice skating (though it kills my lower back so I can't do it as frequently as I wish), guitar hero, playing the piano and I recently just learned that I love nerf guns. I love the piano! I'm not the very best and I hope to get back to advanced lessons, but I love listening to a song and playing it right away (though I think I'm partially deaf, I can play songs just by hearing it without any sheet music). Sometimes I'll have a spur of the moment interest to try something new -- a couple years ago a bunch of my friends were getting married so I planned two Bachelorette parties, which led me to discover that I really like event planning. I also really wanna try camping and outdoor stuff; I've actually always wanted to try it, but my family was never really into outdoorsy stuff so I've been looking for friends who are into it who would like to go with me. Problem is all the camping equipment costs soooooo much money; last year my brother-in-law and his buddy went on a mountain climbing trip and he had SO much gear, it was overwhelming. I also wanna try martial arts and sewing. I love travelling and going to the beach too! I also really love teaching; it makes me feel smart and it's rewarding to see people learn!
4. What kind of music do you like?
   Depends on my mood also. I'm whatever the antonym for hipster is... I like whatever's on the radio and have no patience with indie. I love Katy Perry! I do like listening to old music too though; like Linkin Park, the top 40 from the 00's and 90's, and sometimes I catch myself listening to 60's rock and 80's pop and rock.
5. How's life?/What's up?/How are you?/How's school?
   90% of the times that I've been asked those vague questions, people didn't really care. I could be having a bad day and say I've had a great day and people still wouldn't be able to tell. These kind of questions do nothing but precede small talk. More specific questions like "what are you doing for the rest of the day?" or "how did that project you were working on turn out?" show a more genuine interest in someone's well-being. I have a friend who like me doesn't have a filter and he initiated a conversation with "what are your thoughts on abortion?" and it led to a deep conversation which I loved! But, I have to be in the mood to carry a deep conversation. If I'm not in the mood, please don't force it out of me. I'm an open-book and I don't have a filter, so if I wanted to say something, I would've said it.
6. Watch out! Kim’s on the steering wheel!
   Getting sick of those jokes...
7. [Any form of advice]
   This may make me prideful, but I'm not the advice-getter-type; I'm a venter. A lot of people assume that because I clearly have an issue when I'm ranting, that I'm looking for advice. Not so. I just need to vent and let it out. I need people to get me and where my viewpoints are coming from rather than having the last say and proving to be oh-so-wise. I'm assertive; if I need advice, I always ask for it straight-up. What's even more annoying is when people interrupt me (never, ever, EVER do that... it pisses me off immensely) and start saying what I need to do or change.

Finances are another category. Anyone who knows me well enough would agree that I'm an open-book. That is true, but when it comes to money, there's a wall there. I'm very private when it comes to anything involving money. How much money I make or have saved up on my bank account is nobody's business. That being said, I will only list the questions that I get asked (and don't enjoy getting asked) with regard to my financial state because I've already explained why I don't like them. I can answer all of them in four words: none of your business.

1. What does your dad do? How much money does he make?
2. How much money did you make in this job?
3. What's your source of income?
4. Is that [object that I own] authentic?
5. How much did you pay for it?
6. Wow, you paid more for your [whatever we bought] than I did for mine!

My Spiritual Progress is another thing I'm pretty private about. While I don't share my financial information with anyone except family members and my bank company, my spiritual progress  I share only with my bishop. I'll share it with others if I trust them and feel prompted to share it. The good things I've done I also keep to myself because the scriptures teach us that when we show off, we don't get blessings -- so I'd rather have God think I'm a good person and others have no idea about that. Some people can be insensitive to my privacy preferences and that's when my pet-peeves come along.

1. Have you ever [made this certain mistake]?
   I've had friends who were investigating the church or who were trying to overcome some things and wanted someone who could relate with their struggles. In these cases, I completely understand where they're coming from. Still, unless prompted by the spirit, the only person who needs to know any serious mistakes made should be your bishop and only your bishop. By this I don't mean that you should talk to your bishop every week and confess every single thing you've done that week and lo and behold you're forgiven -- when you make small mistakes, that can just stay between you and Heavenly Father. If it's something more serious, then you should talk to your bishop because he can help give you that extra strength in the repentance process (which in the case of serious sins, are longer). You should never feel obligated to share the mistakes you've made in the past with anybody, especially if you've repented for them.
2. Why did you [make that certain mistake]?
   Yes, I've had people ask me that. Why would you want to remind someone of something that triggers them to make mistakes? If they've moved past it, help them let it go and continue to progress.
3. When are you going on a mission?
   When I feel the desire to serve, when I am physically, mentally, and spiritually capable of serving, and when God approves of that decision.
4. Why aren’t you going on a mission?
   I'm a girl. I'll go if both me and God want me to go. I find that especially with the lowering of age for missionaries and the resulting numerous number of sisters who decided to serve, people think all girls are expected to serve. Every time I hear a guy say something like "I want to marry a returned missionary" I just want to put a dunce hat on their head. We (and this includes me) need to remember that because girls aren't expected to serve full-time missions as boys are, whether or not they decide to serve missions is up to God's plan for them. Just because they didn't serve missions doesn't mean they are less qualified to be wives or mothers. Any guy with this kind of mentality is less qualified to be a husband and a father (yeah, I said it). Some girls qualify themselves as wives and mothers through full-time missions, while some do through education, or others through their careers, or humanitarian work. God has different plans for everyone and as we keep the commandments and follow God's individual plan for us, we will reach our full potential as Heavenly beings. I'm not degrading the significance of serving a full-time mission though; my 5-week mini mission taught me so many lifelong lessons so I can only imagine that 18 months would be even more character-changing.
5. Here’s what you should do
   I'm 22 years old, I've lived away from my parents for 4 years now, and crazy as it sounds, I actually have a close relationship with God. Please take all these things into consideration next time you suggest how I should run my life. I get SUPER annoyed when I just want to rant and people interrupt me and start giving me advice I didn't ask for. JUST LET ME RANT! You can give me advice when I'm done (and preferably if I ask for it). If I ever need advice I always ask for it straight-up.
6. Things will be okay. You just need to have faith.
   Tell me something I don't know...
7. [Bringing up any PT’s that happened to go public]
   PT's mean past transgressions. Reminding me of all my screw-ups (even if they weren't serious) is a really bad idea. No one deserves to be exposed for something they regret doing, especially if they've repented for it. Even if you're just kidding or saying it as nicely as you possibly can, don't do it. Don't remind them of where they went wrong. It doesn't help build their faith in their potential at all.

I still have one more list of pet-peeves/FAQ's and then I'm done. This is probably the last list that really involves small talk though. I'm an extrovert, but I hate small talk. My closest friends became close friends through deep meaningful conversation. Sure, the first time you're talking to someone you'll probably find yourself engaged in small talk, which is fine. It's okay to wait until you're comfortable with a person to get deep. And, in my case, I save debates for when I know the person won't be offended by some of my controversial opinions. But if small talk is all a relationship consists of, I'd rather cut off the useless and meaningless relationship as a whole.

I know the last two categories don't qualify as small talk topics. However, like small talk, they are things you shouldn't talk about with someone you barely know if you want to get on their good side, right? ;) I hope you guys don't think I'm whiny when I make ranting posts. I just really feel inspired when I'm venting -- like I have lots to let out of my chest. So it's good!

Anywhoozle, I'm excited for my next post. HOLA!