Whattup!
I'm sooooooo tired.. if I were to explain how sore my back feels from being on my feet at work all day you'd be surprised I'm only 22. Man, my back's gonna suck by the time I'm 60. Ew.
I hope those of you who read my last post could get something out of it. I put a lot of thought into it and my hope is that the way you feel about yourselves improved after reading it. If you haven't yet, please take the time to read it. Last week I left you guys with a teaser, and I hope it worked. But let's cut to the chase. We need to learn to love ourselves -- it is a commandment. When we are being hard on ourselves, we are disobeying the Lord in five ways:
I'm sooooooo tired.. if I were to explain how sore my back feels from being on my feet at work all day you'd be surprised I'm only 22. Man, my back's gonna suck by the time I'm 60. Ew.
I hope those of you who read my last post could get something out of it. I put a lot of thought into it and my hope is that the way you feel about yourselves improved after reading it. If you haven't yet, please take the time to read it. Last week I left you guys with a teaser, and I hope it worked. But let's cut to the chase. We need to learn to love ourselves -- it is a commandment. When we are being hard on ourselves, we are disobeying the Lord in five ways:
First, He asks us not to be judgemental.
Some of us do such a good job at not gossiping or beaking people behind their backs, because we know it’s disrespectful to them. So, if it’s disrespectful to a person to judge or bad-mouth them, doesn’t that apply to us? Aren’t we disrespecting ourselves when we tell everyone about our past transgressions or go around saying nasty things about ourselves?
People don’t need to know our weaknesses -- especially if it's in the past and repented for. If they are any smart, they should know not to expect you or any human being in this planet to be perfect. So stop. Let God be the judge of you and in the meantime, strive to do the things you know you’re supposed to do. Work with your bishops should your problems be more severe. He can help you. He is called to serve as a witness of the redeeming blood of Christ during those times.
Some of us do such a good job at not gossiping or beaking people behind their backs, because we know it’s disrespectful to them. So, if it’s disrespectful to a person to judge or bad-mouth them, doesn’t that apply to us? Aren’t we disrespecting ourselves when we tell everyone about our past transgressions or go around saying nasty things about ourselves?People don’t need to know our weaknesses -- especially if it's in the past and repented for. If they are any smart, they should know not to expect you or any human being in this planet to be perfect. So stop. Let God be the judge of you and in the meantime, strive to do the things you know you’re supposed to do. Work with your bishops should your problems be more severe. He can help you. He is called to serve as a witness of the redeeming blood of Christ during those times.
Second, he asks us to be patient.
Here’s a quote by President Uchtdorf, “Forget not to be patient with yourself. I want to tell you something that I hope you will take in the right way: God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect. Let me add: God is also fully aware that people you think are perfect are not. And yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others – usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet.
"As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. It’s wonderful that you have strengths. And it is part of your mortal experience that you do have weaknesses. God wants to help us eventually turn all our weaknesses into strengths. But He knows that this is a long-term goal. He wants us to become perfect, and if we stay on the path of discipleship, one day we will. It’s okay that you’re not quite there yet. Keep working on it, but stop punishing yourself.
Here’s a quote by President Uchtdorf, “Forget not to be patient with yourself. I want to tell you something that I hope you will take in the right way: God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect. Let me add: God is also fully aware that people you think are perfect are not. And yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others – usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet.
“Dear sisters, many of you are endlessly compassionate and patient with the weaknesses of others. Please remember also to be compassionate and patient with yourself. In the meantime, be thankful for the small successes in your home, your family relationships, your education and livelihood, your Church participation and personal improvement. Like the forget-me-nots, these successes may seem so tiny to you and they may go unnoticed by others, but God notices them and they are not small to Him. If you consider success to be only the most perfect rose or dazzling orchid, you may miss some of life’s sweet experiences. (...) Our journey toward perfection is long, but we can find wonder and delight in even the tiniest steps in that journey.”
Third, He asks us to be grateful.
We are taught to count our blessings and to have a spirit of thanksgiving. I can guarantee you right now, no matter who you are or what your circumstances may be, that you have gifts, talents, and attributes that you have inherited from your Heavenly Father. The difference between those talented people who always seem to have the spotlight and people who are kind of hidden in the corner isn’t that the first type of people are more talented; it is simply that the first type have discovered their talents already.
So go out and try new things; discover what you enjoy and what you’re good at. Do things you enjoy doing and maybe it’ll turn into a talent. Don’t let anybody convince you you’re not talented, because that is a lie. EVERYONE is good at something – we just need to figure out what it is we’re good at. All of this being said, if God has given you these gifts and instead of recognizing those blessings and thanking Him for them, we do the exact opposite – we are being disobedient. You may think it’s just yourself you’re hurting when you tear yourself down, but you’re also hurting God because He created you and He loves you, and you choose to reject that gift that He so lovingly created.
We are taught to count our blessings and to have a spirit of thanksgiving. I can guarantee you right now, no matter who you are or what your circumstances may be, that you have gifts, talents, and attributes that you have inherited from your Heavenly Father. The difference between those talented people who always seem to have the spotlight and people who are kind of hidden in the corner isn’t that the first type of people are more talented; it is simply that the first type have discovered their talents already.
So go out and try new things; discover what you enjoy and what you’re good at. Do things you enjoy doing and maybe it’ll turn into a talent. Don’t let anybody convince you you’re not talented, because that is a lie. EVERYONE is good at something – we just need to figure out what it is we’re good at. All of this being said, if God has given you these gifts and instead of recognizing those blessings and thanking Him for them, we do the exact opposite – we are being disobedient. You may think it’s just yourself you’re hurting when you tear yourself down, but you’re also hurting God because He created you and He loves you, and you choose to reject that gift that He so lovingly created.
Fourth, He asks us to be forgiving.
In Doctrine and Covenants 64:10, we read, “I the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” By all men, this includes ourselves. And how many times should we forgive people? 7 times? According to the Lord Jesus Christ, 70x7, or 490 times. Not literally, but he meant to say tonnes of times. Here’s another goody in D&C 61:2, “(…) I, the Lord, forgive sins, and am merciful unto those who confess their sins with humble hearts.” So if you’ve done your end of the bargain (i.e. ABCD’s) in the repentance process (Acknowledge, Be sorry, Confess, Don’t do it again), MOVE ON! Stop punishing yourselves.
If the Lord has forgiven you, then you need to forgive yourself too. Art thou greater than him? Never. So, trust His judgments. I think a lot of us get so afraid of falling into temptation and sinning again, that we make the mistake of thinking that by punishing ourselves, we guarantee it won’t happen again because we feel bad about it. It’s quite the opposite actually. Satan is the one who gives us such feelings of inadequacy and the minute we accept his lies that we aren’t good enough, we take crap from him. Eventually this will lead us to think “I’ve done this once, I can do it again” or “I’m just a loser, I give up on this repentance thing”.
In Doctrine and Covenants 64:10, we read, “I the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” By all men, this includes ourselves. And how many times should we forgive people? 7 times? According to the Lord Jesus Christ, 70x7, or 490 times. Not literally, but he meant to say tonnes of times. Here’s another goody in D&C 61:2, “(…) I, the Lord, forgive sins, and am merciful unto those who confess their sins with humble hearts.” So if you’ve done your end of the bargain (i.e. ABCD’s) in the repentance process (Acknowledge, Be sorry, Confess, Don’t do it again), MOVE ON! Stop punishing yourselves.
If the Lord has forgiven you, then you need to forgive yourself too. Art thou greater than him? Never. So, trust His judgments. I think a lot of us get so afraid of falling into temptation and sinning again, that we make the mistake of thinking that by punishing ourselves, we guarantee it won’t happen again because we feel bad about it. It’s quite the opposite actually. Satan is the one who gives us such feelings of inadequacy and the minute we accept his lies that we aren’t good enough, we take crap from him. Eventually this will lead us to think “I’ve done this once, I can do it again” or “I’m just a loser, I give up on this repentance thing”.
Fifth, He asks us to believe and have faith.
When we think of believing or having faith, the first thing that may cross our minds is believing in God, or believing in a miracle, or in the prophets. Those are definitely important things to believe in, but we overlook our belief in ourselves. If we refuse to believe in ourselves, we are denying our divine nature and potential. Faith, according to the Bible Dictionary, is “to hope for things which are not seen, but which are true (…) To have faith is to have confidence in something or someone.”
We need to have faith in ourselves, or it would be impossible for us to progress into our potential and exaltation. Though we may not see our potential right now, God sees it, and we must believe in and hope for it. Re-read the BD's definition of it: "to hope for things which are not seen but which are true". Have you ever wondered why faith is the first principle of the gospel? If we don’t have faith in the Saviour, we can’t truly repent, and if we can’t truly repent, we can’t be baptized, and if we’re not baptized we don’t have the Holy Ghost. The same way with our divine potential; if we don’t have faith in ourselves, we can’t progress. Only God sees our potential, but we don’t. Part of having faith is to hope for that, though we don’t see it.
When we think of believing or having faith, the first thing that may cross our minds is believing in God, or believing in a miracle, or in the prophets. Those are definitely important things to believe in, but we overlook our belief in ourselves. If we refuse to believe in ourselves, we are denying our divine nature and potential. Faith, according to the Bible Dictionary, is “to hope for things which are not seen, but which are true (…) To have faith is to have confidence in something or someone.”
We need to have faith in ourselves, or it would be impossible for us to progress into our potential and exaltation. Though we may not see our potential right now, God sees it, and we must believe in and hope for it. Re-read the BD's definition of it: "to hope for things which are not seen but which are true". Have you ever wondered why faith is the first principle of the gospel? If we don’t have faith in the Saviour, we can’t truly repent, and if we can’t truly repent, we can’t be baptized, and if we’re not baptized we don’t have the Holy Ghost. The same way with our divine potential; if we don’t have faith in ourselves, we can’t progress. Only God sees our potential, but we don’t. Part of having faith is to hope for that, though we don’t see it.
So what are some things we can do to improve our self-esteem and believe in ourselves? Honestly, I wish I could tell you, but this post is getting really long so I will save it for the next post. In the meantime, I would encourage you to think about that to yourselves (and send me suggestions if you’d like them to go here).
Those of you who have overcome past feelings of inadequacy: how did you do it? Did you simply suck it up and got over it, or did you take certain steps to do so?
Those of you who have overcome past feelings of inadequacy: how did you do it? Did you simply suck it up and got over it, or did you take certain steps to do so?
Wholly mackeral Kim!! This is really good stuff!! I can't believe you wrote all this!! Very inspiring Kim :) good job :)
ReplyDeleteI admit i struggle with points 1 and 4, towards myself. people tell me i need to speak out more, and open up more, but whenever i do i get called a jerk or something really bad happens and then i retract back in to my shell. But those are really good points though. :)
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